Quick Thoughts || Why’s it so hard to say NO?



I envy toddlers… So brave… So fearless… So confident in themselves… Why can’t we be like toddlers?

They know exactly what they want and they go for it. They know exactly what they don’t want and stay away from it. The shout out the word NO when they don’t want something or when a person does something they don’t like…

How innocent they are and if only I could find a way to tell them that a few years down the line, this word which they say with so much emphasis and conviction, will become one of the hardest words to say… and I wonder why?

Many times we know a person isn’t good for us, we know the job isn’t right; We know this collaboration will not be beneficial in anyway, we know one thing or the other has no benefit what so ever to us or towards achieving our life goals and yet, we fail to say the simple word that can save us SOOOOOOOO much stress – We fail to just say, NO.

You know what’s even more amazing? Most times we can actually see the situation going down hill even before it begins; But there’s always this little tiny part of our brains that says to us, maybe… just maybe it won’t be as bad as you think it would be; and while that’s true, sometimes your inner gut is right. That same gut you had as a toddler that made you so brave and decisive in doing what was best for you, we now somehow find a way to suppress it… and you know why? It’s because we’re so bothered about not offending people. We don’t want to offend people or be in conflict with anyone. We don’t want to disappoint anyone and so because of this, we say yes when we know, we should say NO.


Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying don’t be considerate about people’s feelings. I’m not saying don’t compromise when possible, but never ever, EVER! do it at the expense of yourself.

Don’t go into a situation that you already know will be bad just because you can’t say NO and you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It is no news that we all want to feel accepted but ask yourself, at what cost? Think about it…


All that said, I’m actually a culprit of this same crime… I find it extremely difficult to say the word NO too but you know what? It’s time to think about Demi first… It’s time for you to think about you first!

Sometimes be selfish; Do what’s best for you because you can’t give what you don’t have to the ones you love. So if you’re not happy, you can’t make people happy. Energy begets Energy (The engineer in me talking ^_^).

… and before I go, I leave you with this quote by Tony Blair…

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

Mustard Turtle neck and oversized blazer outfit 16

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Quick Thoughts || Why Being Successful Really Takes A Lot of work …

This is going to be very brief and probably not the typical blog post. It probably won’t have a conclusion or any concise point … Take it as me just pouring out various thought I’ve had in mind for a while now but do you know it’s a lot, like A LOT MORE easier to sit back and let things happen than working to make things happen? Why else will the number of people that are successful be much less than the unsuccessful ones? It actually takes a lot of work to go for what you want and make your dreams come true. Be it becoming very successful in your career or running that multi-million business you’ve always ‘dreamed‘ of owning – It all takes hard work.

.. but I’m sure you’ve heard that before and while you may think it only means working hard in terms of putting effort into that particular thing you are chasing, it’s a lot more than that.

Have you ever noticed how some seemingly ‘successful’ people tend to have less friends? Have less real family relationships? How a lot of other stuff that we the ‘commoners’ value a lot, like having time to go to the cinema, having time to just spend time with yourself; They don’t have…

Having somewhat become a little career driven in the past few months, I’ve realised that learning to balance my personal/family life with my work life is the real hard work that I need to put into becoming successful. I’ve realised that being successful is much more than just working hard at that particular thing I want to achieve. Learning to have a good work-life balance is the foundation of becoming successful and trust me, it’s really hard. REALLY REALLY HARD.

I think I’ve had more arguments with my mom in the last 6 months of my life than ever before. I’ve had more arguments with Chi in the last 6 months than ever before. I’ve spent a lot more time by myself either because I was working hard on something for work or I just needed to be by myself to sleep… basically being antisocial. I’ve not had as much time for my little brother as he would like… even though I now have the money and funds to do the things I always promised I would when I started working… It’s just hard and trust me, I’m trying a bit harder each day to find the balance… But the more I try, the more work comes, the more complex my life gets and the more stressed I get… Learning to deal with all of this, keeping sane, keeping my family happy, keeping my boss happy and most importantly, keeping me… Demi happy, is the real hard work that’s involved in becoming successful…

[End Thoughts]

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