Quick Thoughts || What Exactly is Happiness?…

Outfit Details

Top from Virtue Clothiers || Skirt from Virtue Clothiers || Shoes from EGO || Earrings from Unpierced by Orella


*This post is sponsored by Virtue Clothiers

Is being happy important?

You’ll be surprised that some people have rationalised that being Happy isn’t all that… Well I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion but I choose to believe that being happy is essential to a healthy, productive and long life. However, many people may feel like being Happy at all times isn’t possible but I am of the opinion that a person can be Happy at all times. If you don’t agree, then permit me to say you may not have a full understanding of what true happiness means…

Let me explain…



Happiness isn’t just a feeling, it is a state. Happiness isn’t a personality trait, it is a state we find ourselves in when certain factors come together. So, don’t you think it is possible to learn to dwell in a Happy state? No one is born Happy; We learn what Happiness is. We’re taught how to be Happy and so Happiness is a conscious choice.

This therefore means that the ability to maintain a state of happiness is completely up to you. I know you’ve probably heard it a billion times but it actually is completely up to you. We must teach ourselves to appreciate the good times and make the most of them and also cope with those difficult times that will definitely come our way. I think the difficulty comes when we think being Happy means things have to always be good or bad situations will never come our way… But no, that isn’t it.



Being happy doesn’t mean you will always feel good inside. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel let down at times. Being happy means choosing to always look on the bright side of things and stay positive.

So how exactly can you be Happy at all times? How can you remain in a state of total happiness?

Be open to change – It is inevitable so being able to accept change is key…

Do the things you love

Hold on to your values

Stay true to yourself

Listen to your heart

Let go of dead weight – Whatever that is to you…

Appreciate what you have – Learn to be content…

Learn to be grateful

Dwell on what is actually important – and not what you think is important…

Cut your clothes according to your size – Especially money wise…

Spend time with people who make you happy – Friends, Family, Colleagues, you name it…

In a nutshell, understand what makes you happy and do it.


*This Post is sponsored by Virtue Clothier. Virtue Clothier is a made in Nigerian brand that curates stylish and carefully tailored pieces for the modern woman who not only wants to look good, but also save some money while doing so ^_^. My outfit is valued at N7,250 at the time this post was published and can be purchased right here!  – Take a look at their online store and thank me later! xoxo


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Lifestyle || Here’s why you should enjoy being single while it last!


I hesitated to write this post given that I am in a relationship – a long term relationship at that… but daily I meet and interact with young women who are single and REALLY DISLIKE being single. However, most of them will never actually admit it, but there are some telltale signs, especially in the form of subtle comments, that make it pretty obvious that they’d rather be in a relationship than be single.

Some even feel like without being a in a relationship, life can’t go on as normal and end up hopping from one relationship to another… EARTH TO SINGLETON – You don’t need a partner to continue with your life.

Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, finding someone special to love and be loved by is really amazing; but when the desire to be in a relationship becomes more of an obsession or a defining factor to your life, then you are in serious need of an intervention. So if that’s you, take this as your FREE intervention session by me.


The sad part  to all this though is that society doesn’t make it any easier, especially for women. Women get a lot of pressure to be in a relationship and a lot of backlash for being single. Thinking a little deeper, society is probably the main reason a lot of young women think there’s something wrong with them if they aren’t in a relationship by 25 – hmmm…

Funny Story: A friend of mine turned 24 last year and as expected, she got a lot calls from family members. However, the birthday wishes they gave were not the typical ones you’d expect to hear. The calls were filled with prayers for her to not be single by her next birthday…. Hardly any prayer for her personal heart desires to be granted or for her to get a promotion at work – You know, the typical life achievement kinda stuff. She just got loads and loads of prayers about getting a husband. Well, her next birthday is around the corner and we’re both wondering, what’s so wrong with her being single and 25? Do men also get these sort of calls?

You see, having been on both sides of the door, I can tell you that being in a loving relationship is a beautiful experience – but being single is equally as beautiful. While I do hope for everyone who will like to get married to find their life partner, I also really long for society to also understand that regardless of which side of the door a woman stands, she can live life to the fullest and be happy. I long for a society where being in a relationship or being married isn’t seen as the ‘bestest’ thing that can happen to a woman. A Society where women regardless of their marital status are respected on the same level. Nonetheless, while we wait for society to catch up and get some ‘sense’, to all my singletons out there, here are a few reasons why you should really enjoy love and embrace your singleness for as long as it lasts! (Take it from someone who’s in a relationship #lol)


You’re in full control of YOUR decisions

When you’re single, most of the decisions you make affect you and you alone. So there’s no need to consult with a second party about whether or not you should make decision A or B. You can be as ‘selfish’ as you want and do what you feel is best for yourself.  However, once you’re in a relationship, the dynamics of this changes. Your decisions now become joint decisions, made by you and your significant other – I mean except for life threatening ones of course #haha

You have LOADDSSSSS of free YOU time

Trust me, you’ll miss this when you’re not single. There’s nothing like being able to spend all your free time on you. This isn’t possible in relationships, especially if you have a tedious work or school schedule.  Some, if not all of your free time will be spent trying to solidify your relationship by going on dates, being on phone or video calls or generally just hanging out with your significant other just to get to know each other better. So enjoy your free time while you still can.

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You have more money to spend on YOU

Funny right? But so true! No spending money on gifts for valentine, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas… No going dutch on dates or covering the total bill… Need I say more?

Your happiness isn’t tied to someone else’s

You might wonder how but honestly, if you truly love someone and they aren’t happy, how can you be happy? How can you be alright knowing the person you love isn’t?

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Bottom Line, Ignore the numerous Instagram captions curated to accompany those picture perfect posts of couples. Every relationship has its rocky side but as with EVERYTHING in life, there’s the good side and the bad side to every situation. So Single or not, you should learn to enjoy the good side of your singleness. xoxo



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Quick Thoughts || Why Being Successful Really Takes A Lot of work …


This is going to be very brief and probably not the typical blog post. It probably won’t have a conclusion or any concise point … Take it as me just pouring out various thought I’ve had in mind for a while now but do you know it’s a lot, like A LOT MORE easier to sit back and let things happen than working to make things happen? Why else will the number of people that are successful be much less than the unsuccessful ones? It actually takes a lot of work to go for what you want and make your dreams come true. Be it becoming very successful in your career or running that multi-million business you’ve always ‘dreamed‘ of owning – It all takes hard work.

.. but I’m sure you’ve heard that before and while you may think it only means working hard in terms of putting effort into that particular thing you are chasing, it’s a lot more than that.

Have you ever noticed how some seemingly ‘successful’ people tend to have less friends? Have less real family relationships? How a lot of other stuff that we the ‘commoners’ value a lot, like having time to go to the cinema, having time to just spend time with yourself; They don’t have…


Having somewhat become a little career driven in the past few months, I’ve realised that learning to balance my personal/family life with my work life is the real hard work that I need to put into becoming successful. I’ve realised that being successful is much more than just working hard at that particular thing I want to achieve. Learning to have a good work-life balance is the foundation of becoming successful and trust me, it’s really hard. REALLY REALLY HARD.

I think I’ve had more arguments with my mom in the last 6 months of my life than ever before. I’ve had more arguments with Chi in the last 6 months than ever before. I’ve spent a lot more time by myself either because I was working hard on something for work or I just needed to be by myself to sleep… basically being antisocial. I’ve not had as much time for my little brother as he would like… even though I now have the money and funds to do the things I always promised I would when I started working… It’s just hard and trust me, I’m trying a bit harder each day to find the balance… But the more I try, the more work comes, the more complex my life gets and the more stressed I get… Learning to deal with all of this, keeping sane, keeping my family happy, keeping my boss happy and most importantly, keeping me… Demi happy, is the real hard work that’s involved in becoming successful…

[End Thoughts]


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Lifestyle || What you need to know about becoming an Adult

 


When I was much younger I used to look forward to being an adult. I couldn’t wait till I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, not having anyone boss me around and so on. I mean it’s great not having to rely on someone for every single thing. The independence that comes with being an adult is something I wouldn’t trade and that sense of importance you get when parents consult you on certain family issues; but there are many other things about being an adult that I wish someone would have told me about earlier.

Although I’m still somewhat a young adult myself, I’ve come to quickly realise that being an adult is very stressful. The transition between adolescence and adulthood is even more stressful than actually being an adult. However, everyone goes through it and most people have come out fine. Nonetheless, and like I said earlier, I wish someone would have warned me about what was ahead so I can prepare myself mentally for the stress (Not like I could slow down my ageing process anyways lol).

Anyways, just so those coming after me really do know what the adult years look like (and also for those currently adulting and feeling lost), here are a few things you need to know about being or becoming an adult.


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1. People’s expectations of you multiply

Once you become an adult, it seems like every year of your life is now on an invisible timer set by the society, family and sometimes even yourself. People just expect more and without asking what you want to do with your life, they set certain expectations for you.

People expect you to finish school at a certain time. People expect you to get your masters done within a certain time period. Society expects that you get married at a certain age. Everyone expects that you have a certain kind of job (Think me, Chemical Engineering Graduate now working as a Content Creator #lol – Some people have a fit when they hear what I do for a living).

What the world expects of you just increases so much and that’s not completely bad. What’s bad or stressful about this is that these expectations exist because people compare you to others within the same age group. Sometimes older people set their personal life expectations as goals for you (i.e. what they wished they did differently when growing up) and again, that’s not completely bad but most times it’s unnecessary.


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Yes it’s good to have expectations of a person but more importantly, people need to learn to ask what the blooming adult in question wants for their life first and then build on that.

2. Not every friendship last forever

There comes a point in your life, where you begin to realise that certain people you hold dear to your heart have to be let go. This is often not because they have all of a sudden become bad people but sometimes you find that they are not on the same ‘wave length‘ or life path as yourself. Friends you once did everything with, now seem to be doing the exact opposite to you. Some Friends begin to only exist as leaches, i.e. they always only want something from you and you know the sad part, the letting go process can be very tough and emotionally confusing.


 


If you’re anything like me, you’ll totally hate this part of becoming an adult. It often feels like you’re betraying years of trust by deciding to let X go and it can be very emotionally draining. Sometimes you even have to let go of your “best-friend” or that person that helped you with some really bad situation years ago but I’ve come to realise that it’s part of being an adult and often very necessary for your personal growth.

3. You won’t have everything all figured out

… heck you probably won’t have it all figured out ever; and that’s not completely a bad thing.  It’s always great to have a plan, but as you grow older, you’ll find your plans constantly changing and you might feel like you don’t have things figured out – That’s okay!

It’s actually pretty normal because, things keep changing. What was normal many years ago isn’t today’s normal. How things were done back then, isn’t how things are done now. Everything keeps changing which means most likely won’t be able to have everything figured out, simply because of the constant change in the world.


 


Yes I know some people look like they have everything all sorted but I can bet you that those people are just able to make the most out of the situation they find themselves in. They’ve learnt how to make the most out of opportunities that come their way and that’s what you need to learn to do too. Instead of trying to make sure you have every single detail of your life figured, learn to make the most of each situation you find yourself in. Learn to get the most out of opportunities and eventually you will be just fine!.


 


There are many other things that come with being an adult and can make life hard for young adults but to me, these are the top 3 that I’m certain everyone experiences.

So I hope that when you do find yourself going through any of these, you remind yourself that you are not alone, that the process is normal and that you’ll be fine in no time!



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LifeStyle || How to Manage Your Relationship on Social Media.

How to Manage your relationship on social Media-4


A lot of people have asked me on several occasions,

“How do you manage your relationship being so public?”

 

“How do you manage your relationship being on social media?”

The honest truth? I’m not entirely sure, but I did give it a little thought and what I do know is that there are a few conscious steps I take in order to ensure that my relationship with Chi is as private as it can be.


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I actually never imagined my relationship will be one of public interest; but given the circumstances around which the relationship started , Chi and I felt it might be nice to show people that relationships like ours can work. So after much deliberation, loads of conversations and decisions on what and how to go about it, we made our relationship pretty public earlier this year on my blog and it’s associated social media platforms.

We went against all the various advice people give about social media and relationships; but with the number of messages we get and testimonies from other couples, we both agree it was a good move and don’t regret it at all.

That said, there are some limits, controls and checks that we have put in place to ensure that its privacy is still preserved to some extent and that’s what I’m going to share with you real quick!

Here are a few things you can do in order to manage your relationship being on social media.


Separate your moments

I cannot over emphasise this enough. Not everything that goes on in your relationship needs to be put online, even if it’s a happy moment. You don’t need to share the fact that your significant other just got you an amazing gift with the whole world at every single point in time. You don’t need to share the details of every date night you go on. You need to learn to keep somethings to yourself no matter how fantastic or annoying they are – Especially if you’re someone in the public eye like myself.


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The best way to go about this is to stick to popular dates when “love is in the air”. Think Christmas time, New year’s eve, Valentines day, Thanks giving and so on – those are all seasons when almost everyone is talking about their family and the love of their life. So you sharing yours during such a time won’t stand out as showing off.

If you blog or vlog like myself, you could also share snippets of special personal days like birthdays and anniversaries, but even these personal days should have their details kept as private as possible so they still remain special to you.

Know what is acceptable to share

It’s important to know what your partner is okay or not okay with you sharing online. Does your partner want the details of your holiday together shared in a vlog? Do they want people to know about the new car you got? Are they okay with you talking about the fact that things aren’t always perfect?



Believe it or not, every single post that goes out on my instagram, facebook or my blog and has to do with my relationship goes through Chi first; and vice versa. This isn’t always done so the other party can criticise the content that’s about to be put out but it’s always nice to inform your partner about the post or video that’s about to go out. Why? Well, it’s mainly to ensure they aren’t taken unawares, especially if people are likely to make all sorts of comments about the content in question (unless of course it’s a birthday shout out #lol) – It’s just simple courtesy.

Take Everything with a pinch of Salt

Believe it or not, there are many people just waiting around to see if something will go wrong in your relationship or for an opportunity to make a spiteful comment, be a judge, say I told you so or what not; and most times, these people are just sadist.



They do not wish you well in any way, shape or form. So when you see ‘odd’ comments about your relationship on a photo, video or even via instastories, simply delete and move on – Take it with a pinch of salt.

On the other hand, there are some people that do wish you well but sometimes give advice or make comments that do not sit too well with you. Again, take it with a pinch of salt. Even the ‘good comments‘ and the ‘nice ones’ – take them all with a pinch of salt. Never let someone behind a gadget dictate the mood or ‘vibe’ of your relationship by a simple comment.

At the end of the day, most of the people showing love or hate on your social media platforms will only remain social media buddies.


So from Chi and I to you, we hope you do find these tips useful and continue to grow in love with you other whole!


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Lifestyle || What you must know and do before moving back to Nigeria

It’s been two months since I moved back to Nigeria – Seems like longer lol but anyways… While settling in for me has been quite easy and stress free, I must admit that I can understand and relate to why some people find the process of moving back home quite difficult and stressful.

Some people think the biggest challenge for people moving back from the ‘western’ world to Nigeria is the Weather but to be honest the biggest challenge is in fact the culture shock. Yes! Culture shock. Now that might seem weird considering that if you are said to be moving back home, then you should be moving back to your original ancestral land and in most cases the place you grew up. Nevertheless for someone coming from a society that’s quite different to the Nigerian setting, it is indeed a massive change, even if you’ve been there for a few years.

Culture refers to so many different aspects and doesn’t mean the tradition of the people in this context, but refers to the way of life, the way people address each other, something as simple and customer service experience, how banks operate, internet availability, where to hangout and so on. So how do you deal with it or prepare to move back home?

Here’s what I did and a few tips I believe will help anyone planning to move back to their motherland

#1  Visit often

Visiting the place or area you intend to move to, drastically helps make the process less difficult. Not only do you become more familiar with your surroundings but you also become very familiar with the lifestyle of the people in that area. This helps a lot because once you make the final move, you are no longer a stranger to the environment and you’ll blend in, fit it veryyyy well.

#2 Make plans

When moving home or to any foreign land, it is always important to make some sort of plan. What exactly are you going to do when you get there? Look for a job? Which companies do you want to apply to? Do you plan to study? What course and where? Are you starting a business? What’s your business plan? Are you a blogger planning to make it as a full time job? How are you going to do so? Are you moving back for NYSC? How does the application process work?

Plans must be thought through and made. Once you’ve made a plan, then make a plan B,C and D as well because things don’t always go as planned and especially in Nigeria, it tends to be the case.

#3 Be prepared financially

That’s all I’m going to say #lol

#4 Be Mentally Prepared

Before moving, make sure you have begun the process of mental re-orientation. I’m not saying change yourself or your principles, but come with a mindset that’s a lot more open and ready to re-learn a few things. Just the same way you left home and had to learn to do things differently, in the same vein, you will need to learn to do things a bit differently once again.

#5 Enjoy the process

Yes, it can be scary sometimes. Yes, it can be fraustating. Yes it can be a lot of things… but the best way to go through any new phase of life is to ensure you try your best to make the most of it. Always look at the brighter side and the positive aspect (YES! everything has a positive side to it and I hope you find it! ^_^)

Demi x

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Lifestyle || 3 Tips On How To Deal With Stressful Times in Life

Everyone gets to a point in life where so many things are going on at the same time. Whether it’s studying for a degree and working, sustaining a relationship and starting up a business or even a combination of all those mentioned. At some point, learning to balance out various projects and aspects of ones life becomes very paramount in order to stay sane and ensure that they all run smoothly.

Having successfully finished my degree in Engineering while working a part-time job, working on setting up an Agency with my friend, studying for a secret diploma :p and working on some other personal projects, I’ll like to think I’ve successfully managed my time to get to where I am. So here are my few tips on how I got through it all and what you can do to manage your time wisely.

#1 – Assess and Accept

The first step to dealing with any situation is to first of all Assess what’s on your plate. Take a step back to analyse the situation and understand the task before you. It will help you decide how to prioritize, what to put first, what projects can go on hold for the mean time and so on. If all aspects need to be running simultaneously, it will also help you understand exactly what you are about to get into – that’s where the Acceptance phase comes in.

Sometimes, you just need to accept that you will be a little stressed for a period of time. You may need to accept that your life is about to change momentarily and the way you’ve been running your daily activities will change. You may have to reshuffle the way your body clock works or your personal daily schedule and if this is the case, make sure you inform all parties involved – Your family, your closest friends, your blog readers, your boss, your partner (boyfriend or girlfriend). There is no shame in letting people know that you are about to get really busy and you’ll need them to understand if you begin to behave erratically or stop communicating with them as much.

So Assessing and Accepting the situation is the first step!

#2 – Create Lists

If you follow me on Instagram @msdemi_akin —>Instagram, you might have come across my various snaps about making lists and working through them. Writing a daily to-do list helps a lot! It is especially helpful during those your mind is all over the place and you don’t know where to start. It is a great way to relieve yourself of some mental stress and get yourself back on track.

Most times when I found myself struggling to finish some project for school, working through some tasks for The Blogger Point or Desire1709 and not knowing where to start, writing a list of all the things I had to do helped A LOT! Most times the list of things I had to do turned out too much less than I initially thought while they were all mumbled up in my head. Seeing it on paper helped me calm down and realise that the situation wasn’t as bad as I thought. Of course sometimes I also ended up with a long list and when this happened, I found out that some of the things I was worrying about were not as urgent as I thought and could be done at a later time.

So lists are very helpful and very essential to a busy life. Write a list when your thoughts are all over the place and when you have a lot of tasks to complete.

#3 – Take breaks once in a while

Contrary to what most people under pressure think, there is always time to take a break. I find that taking 30 minute to 1 hour breaks in between tasks is very necessary to refresh and reset your mind.

While powering on and getting into the task is good, taking a break helps your brain relax and process information better. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to ‘find’ the time but it is very necessary. There were many days when I intentionally turned off my phone to watch a movie or a TV series episode or just eat and sleep! Taking intentional breaks is necessary for your own personal sanity. Anyone who knows me knows I preach this day and night and that’s because it’s been one of the secrets of my success so far.

So I hope this helps you in one way or the other and if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask?

How do you deal with stressful times?

DIY || African Print Throw Pillow – NO SEW!!!

Ankara Throw Pillow


So… I was just sitting down the other day looking at this fabric and wondering what I could do with it. So many thoughts crossed my mind like making a new dress, or skirt or trousers but I just wasn’t in the mood to embark on a time-consuming project! So I decided I would make a throw pillow using my glue gun and some fur I had lying around the house and Voila!

I went for a heart shape because of the valentine vibes flying all over the place and I absolutely love the outcome. This took me about 10 minutes to make and I am in love with it! I’ll probably be making loads more soon but for now, enjoy the little tutorial I’ve got for you on how to make your very own throw pillow WITHOUT SEWING ANYTHING!!!

Enjoy!!!

Items used

Some fabric

Glue Gun

Scissors

Chalk

1 meter of Fur trimming (from ebay – seller here!)

 



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