Quick Thoughts || What Exactly is Happiness?…

Outfit Details

Top from Virtue Clothiers || Skirt from Virtue Clothiers || Shoes from EGO || Earrings from Unpierced by Orella


*This post is sponsored by Virtue Clothiers

Is being happy important?

You’ll be surprised that some people have rationalised that being Happy isn’t all that… Well I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion but I choose to believe that being happy is essential to a healthy, productive and long life. However, many people may feel like being Happy at all times isn’t possible but I am of the opinion that a person can be Happy at all times. If you don’t agree, then permit me to say you may not have a full understanding of what true happiness means…

Let me explain…



Happiness isn’t just a feeling, it is a state. Happiness isn’t a personality trait, it is a state we find ourselves in when certain factors come together. So, don’t you think it is possible to learn to dwell in a Happy state? No one is born Happy; We learn what Happiness is. We’re taught how to be Happy and so Happiness is a conscious choice.

This therefore means that the ability to maintain a state of happiness is completely up to you. I know you’ve probably heard it a billion times but it actually is completely up to you. We must teach ourselves to appreciate the good times and make the most of them and also cope with those difficult times that will definitely come our way. I think the difficulty comes when we think being Happy means things have to always be good or bad situations will never come our way… But no, that isn’t it.



Being happy doesn’t mean you will always feel good inside. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel let down at times. Being happy means choosing to always look on the bright side of things and stay positive.

So how exactly can you be Happy at all times? How can you remain in a state of total happiness?

Be open to change – It is inevitable so being able to accept change is key…

Do the things you love

Hold on to your values

Stay true to yourself

Listen to your heart

Let go of dead weight – Whatever that is to you…

Appreciate what you have – Learn to be content…

Learn to be grateful

Dwell on what is actually important – and not what you think is important…

Cut your clothes according to your size – Especially money wise…

Spend time with people who make you happy – Friends, Family, Colleagues, you name it…

In a nutshell, understand what makes you happy and do it.


*This Post is sponsored by Virtue Clothier. Virtue Clothier is a made in Nigerian brand that curates stylish and carefully tailored pieces for the modern woman who not only wants to look good, but also save some money while doing so ^_^. My outfit is valued at N7,250 at the time this post was published and can be purchased right here!  – Take a look at their online store and thank me later! xoxo


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Lifestyle || What you need to know about becoming an Adult

 


When I was much younger I used to look forward to being an adult. I couldn’t wait till I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, not having anyone boss me around and so on. I mean it’s great not having to rely on someone for every single thing. The independence that comes with being an adult is something I wouldn’t trade and that sense of importance you get when parents consult you on certain family issues; but there are many other things about being an adult that I wish someone would have told me about earlier.

Although I’m still somewhat a young adult myself, I’ve come to quickly realise that being an adult is very stressful. The transition between adolescence and adulthood is even more stressful than actually being an adult. However, everyone goes through it and most people have come out fine. Nonetheless, and like I said earlier, I wish someone would have warned me about what was ahead so I can prepare myself mentally for the stress (Not like I could slow down my ageing process anyways lol).

Anyways, just so those coming after me really do know what the adult years look like (and also for those currently adulting and feeling lost), here are a few things you need to know about being or becoming an adult.


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1. People’s expectations of you multiply

Once you become an adult, it seems like every year of your life is now on an invisible timer set by the society, family and sometimes even yourself. People just expect more and without asking what you want to do with your life, they set certain expectations for you.

People expect you to finish school at a certain time. People expect you to get your masters done within a certain time period. Society expects that you get married at a certain age. Everyone expects that you have a certain kind of job (Think me, Chemical Engineering Graduate now working as a Content Creator #lol – Some people have a fit when they hear what I do for a living).

What the world expects of you just increases so much and that’s not completely bad. What’s bad or stressful about this is that these expectations exist because people compare you to others within the same age group. Sometimes older people set their personal life expectations as goals for you (i.e. what they wished they did differently when growing up) and again, that’s not completely bad but most times it’s unnecessary.


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Yes it’s good to have expectations of a person but more importantly, people need to learn to ask what the blooming adult in question wants for their life first and then build on that.

2. Not every friendship last forever

There comes a point in your life, where you begin to realise that certain people you hold dear to your heart have to be let go. This is often not because they have all of a sudden become bad people but sometimes you find that they are not on the same ‘wave length‘ or life path as yourself. Friends you once did everything with, now seem to be doing the exact opposite to you. Some Friends begin to only exist as leaches, i.e. they always only want something from you and you know the sad part, the letting go process can be very tough and emotionally confusing.


 


If you’re anything like me, you’ll totally hate this part of becoming an adult. It often feels like you’re betraying years of trust by deciding to let X go and it can be very emotionally draining. Sometimes you even have to let go of your “best-friend” or that person that helped you with some really bad situation years ago but I’ve come to realise that it’s part of being an adult and often very necessary for your personal growth.

3. You won’t have everything all figured out

… heck you probably won’t have it all figured out ever; and that’s not completely a bad thing.  It’s always great to have a plan, but as you grow older, you’ll find your plans constantly changing and you might feel like you don’t have things figured out – That’s okay!

It’s actually pretty normal because, things keep changing. What was normal many years ago isn’t today’s normal. How things were done back then, isn’t how things are done now. Everything keeps changing which means most likely won’t be able to have everything figured out, simply because of the constant change in the world.


 


Yes I know some people look like they have everything all sorted but I can bet you that those people are just able to make the most out of the situation they find themselves in. They’ve learnt how to make the most out of opportunities that come their way and that’s what you need to learn to do too. Instead of trying to make sure you have every single detail of your life figured, learn to make the most of each situation you find yourself in. Learn to get the most out of opportunities and eventually you will be just fine!.


 


There are many other things that come with being an adult and can make life hard for young adults but to me, these are the top 3 that I’m certain everyone experiences.

So I hope that when you do find yourself going through any of these, you remind yourself that you are not alone, that the process is normal and that you’ll be fine in no time!



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Lifestyle || Why you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time off for yourself!

 


Photography by Chibuzo Onukwube @WizChibzy_

Outfit

Trousers form Kaffy’s Stitches | Shirt from my cousin’s closet | Scarf from my mum’s Closet


It’s no news to anyone that stays up to date with my blog and social media that I have been a bit ‘laid back’ or absent from my blog. Yes, I have been and I’m not ashamed to admit it and there’s only one explanation for it – I’ve been taking time off for myself.

A lot of people get to a certain head space where pleasing others and ensuring everyone around them is happy, takes up so much of their time that they have no time to ensure they themselves are happy. This behaviour is very common in women and even more so, women in the public eye which includes influencers and bloggers.


If only we realise that taking care of ourself first is the only way we can continue to effectively take care of others; maybe then and only then will we understand that it’s okay to take time off for yourself.

HOWEVER! Some people do know its good to take time off, but still somehow find a way to feel bad for doing so. I’ve met a lot of people who even when they go on a ‘holiday’ still somehow find a way to take all the worries they left behind with them on their retreat! Whether it’s work from the office, school projects, personal assignments or business plans… Some people just feel plain guilty when they aren’t working or doing something brain tasking. So I’m going to tell you exactly why you shouldn’t feel guilty when you take time off for yourself to just do nothing!


Taking time off for yourself helps you reflect

Whether it’s on personal goals, recent decisions made, impending decisions, relationships in your life, taking time off to be by yourself let’s your reflect and re-evaluate your life, which is very necessary for personal growth.

Related: How to overcome creative block!

Taking time off for yourself makes you happy

When you take time off to do the things you love or even just to sleep, it rejuvenates you, relaxes you and makes you happy. You know the great thing about it? Happiness is contagious! So taking out time to make yourself happy will also make those around you happy!

Taking time out for yourself is the only way to truly discover yourself


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Taking time off for yourself enhances the quality of your relationship with others

When you take time off to be by yourself, you give yourself time to evaluate all the relationships you have in your life. You then begin to understand which ones are important to you and which ones need to go. You’ll also come to appreciate the relationships you have once you’ve spent time away from them.

Taking time off is better for your overall health and well-being

Getting burnt out, worn out and worked up is no good for anyone and the only way to prevent this is to take time off once in a while. increased stress levels lead to high blood pressure, a break down in your immune system and so on. So before you get yourself bed-ridden in a hospital somewhere, take time off to just be by yourself.



Now I know it’s hard to find time to take time off but trust me it’s worth it. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be a physical absence like travelling to another region. Something as simple as disconnecting from social media, staying indoors a bit more or going out by yourself are all ways you can take time out for yourself. So give yourself the much-needed break you deserve and don’t feel guilty about it!

Love

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