Lifestyle || Has Social Media Made Us Less Social? #DAPICNIC

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A little while back, I hosted the first DA Event #DAPicnic where I got to meet a lot of people I connect with online, offline. I like to think of myself as a somewhat social being but I totally dislike ‘plastic’ relationships – you know, the kind of relationship that has no real value or meaning and just exists for the sake of existing. Yep! Those kind of relationships.

So I set up the picnic to meet up with a few of you and discuss a topic that had been on my mind for a long while…

Has social media made us infact more anti-social?

I did a lot of research online to get various views on the topic from both sides of the spectrum and in all honestly, by the time I was done, I was completely torn… I didn’t know which side I belonged to.


On the YES, it has made us more anti-social side of things, people argue that because of social media, you don’t really need to go out and ‘socialize’ as those before our generation had to when they were our age. We can find out most of the information we need to know about people in our circle from the back of a computer or phone screen – i.e. with little or no human interaction at all. Most people also prefer to stay glued to their phones at social gatherings, such as a family dinner, weddings and so on. They rather ‘socialise’ with other people online when they could otherwise be social with those physically around them … Which is True right?… hmmm

On the NO, it hasn’t made us more anti-social side of things, some people say that it actually helps create talking points, such as new internet crazes #turninoninow, when you meet someone in person for the first time. Hence, it makes your meeting offline more social. You are also able to keep up with a lot more people than you normally would be able to because of how busy we are these days. People also argue that social media helps create a new environment for relationships that otherwise wouldn’t exist to exist and bloom… Which is also true right?

See why I didn’t know which side of the fence to stay on?


It was a long and interesting discussion with everyone giving their point of view on the topic and some even expressed concerns about how the generation after ours will handle social interactions. Others cautioned on us blaming social media for our anti-social nature today and explained how Social media only helps express who you really are inside, a bit better. That all said, there were a few points that really struck me and made it all come together…

Yes social media may be all the things we say but at the end of the day, it is just social media and we have the ability to manage and control how we use it and what it does to us. We can either choose to be on our phones when we go out with friends, or decide to ‘logout’ and login to physical conversations – It is all in our control. We can also decide to use social media to build new relationships by converting those conversations we have online to offline conversations and meet people in person OR we can choose to leave those conversations in the virtual world – It’s all a choice.

Whether or not you become anti-social or more social as a result of social media is up to you and totally dependent on your real personality. Come to think of it, should an app that you can easily delete dictate how your social life turns out to be? Nope! I don’t think so…


Social media is a beautiful thing and if used wisely can help you build some solid and very meaningful relationships… I mean, how else would I have met all 20-something plus guests that made it to the event? How else would you the reader have gotten to know about Demi Akin?

Yes, if used wrongly and ALLOWED to take over our being, it can become detrimental to us as social beings but the bottom line is, it is all a choice.

The power to be more social or become anti-social, as a result of owning an account on twitter, instagram, facebook, snapchat or whatever other social media platform you signed up to is all in your hands!

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Lifestyle || What you need to know about becoming an Adult

 


When I was much younger I used to look forward to being an adult. I couldn’t wait till I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, not having anyone boss me around and so on. I mean it’s great not having to rely on someone for every single thing. The independence that comes with being an adult is something I wouldn’t trade and that sense of importance you get when parents consult you on certain family issues; but there are many other things about being an adult that I wish someone would have told me about earlier.

Although I’m still somewhat a young adult myself, I’ve come to quickly realise that being an adult is very stressful. The transition between adolescence and adulthood is even more stressful than actually being an adult. However, everyone goes through it and most people have come out fine. Nonetheless, and like I said earlier, I wish someone would have warned me about what was ahead so I can prepare myself mentally for the stress (Not like I could slow down my ageing process anyways lol).

Anyways, just so those coming after me really do know what the adult years look like (and also for those currently adulting and feeling lost), here are a few things you need to know about being or becoming an adult.


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1. People’s expectations of you multiply

Once you become an adult, it seems like every year of your life is now on an invisible timer set by the society, family and sometimes even yourself. People just expect more and without asking what you want to do with your life, they set certain expectations for you.

People expect you to finish school at a certain time. People expect you to get your masters done within a certain time period. Society expects that you get married at a certain age. Everyone expects that you have a certain kind of job (Think me, Chemical Engineering Graduate now working as a Content Creator #lol – Some people have a fit when they hear what I do for a living).

What the world expects of you just increases so much and that’s not completely bad. What’s bad or stressful about this is that these expectations exist because people compare you to others within the same age group. Sometimes older people set their personal life expectations as goals for you (i.e. what they wished they did differently when growing up) and again, that’s not completely bad but most times it’s unnecessary.


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Yes it’s good to have expectations of a person but more importantly, people need to learn to ask what the blooming adult in question wants for their life first and then build on that.

2. Not every friendship last forever

There comes a point in your life, where you begin to realise that certain people you hold dear to your heart have to be let go. This is often not because they have all of a sudden become bad people but sometimes you find that they are not on the same ‘wave length‘ or life path as yourself. Friends you once did everything with, now seem to be doing the exact opposite to you. Some Friends begin to only exist as leaches, i.e. they always only want something from you and you know the sad part, the letting go process can be very tough and emotionally confusing.


 


If you’re anything like me, you’ll totally hate this part of becoming an adult. It often feels like you’re betraying years of trust by deciding to let X go and it can be very emotionally draining. Sometimes you even have to let go of your “best-friend” or that person that helped you with some really bad situation years ago but I’ve come to realise that it’s part of being an adult and often very necessary for your personal growth.

3. You won’t have everything all figured out

… heck you probably won’t have it all figured out ever; and that’s not completely a bad thing.  It’s always great to have a plan, but as you grow older, you’ll find your plans constantly changing and you might feel like you don’t have things figured out – That’s okay!

It’s actually pretty normal because, things keep changing. What was normal many years ago isn’t today’s normal. How things were done back then, isn’t how things are done now. Everything keeps changing which means most likely won’t be able to have everything figured out, simply because of the constant change in the world.


 


Yes I know some people look like they have everything all sorted but I can bet you that those people are just able to make the most out of the situation they find themselves in. They’ve learnt how to make the most out of opportunities that come their way and that’s what you need to learn to do too. Instead of trying to make sure you have every single detail of your life figured, learn to make the most of each situation you find yourself in. Learn to get the most out of opportunities and eventually you will be just fine!.


 


There are many other things that come with being an adult and can make life hard for young adults but to me, these are the top 3 that I’m certain everyone experiences.

So I hope that when you do find yourself going through any of these, you remind yourself that you are not alone, that the process is normal and that you’ll be fine in no time!



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Lifestyle || Why you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time off for yourself!

 


Photography by Chibuzo Onukwube @WizChibzy_

Outfit

Trousers form Kaffy’s Stitches | Shirt from my cousin’s closet | Scarf from my mum’s Closet


It’s no news to anyone that stays up to date with my blog and social media that I have been a bit ‘laid back’ or absent from my blog. Yes, I have been and I’m not ashamed to admit it and there’s only one explanation for it – I’ve been taking time off for myself.

A lot of people get to a certain head space where pleasing others and ensuring everyone around them is happy, takes up so much of their time that they have no time to ensure they themselves are happy. This behaviour is very common in women and even more so, women in the public eye which includes influencers and bloggers.


If only we realise that taking care of ourself first is the only way we can continue to effectively take care of others; maybe then and only then will we understand that it’s okay to take time off for yourself.

HOWEVER! Some people do know its good to take time off, but still somehow find a way to feel bad for doing so. I’ve met a lot of people who even when they go on a ‘holiday’ still somehow find a way to take all the worries they left behind with them on their retreat! Whether it’s work from the office, school projects, personal assignments or business plans… Some people just feel plain guilty when they aren’t working or doing something brain tasking. So I’m going to tell you exactly why you shouldn’t feel guilty when you take time off for yourself to just do nothing!


Taking time off for yourself helps you reflect

Whether it’s on personal goals, recent decisions made, impending decisions, relationships in your life, taking time off to be by yourself let’s your reflect and re-evaluate your life, which is very necessary for personal growth.

Related: How to overcome creative block!

Taking time off for yourself makes you happy

When you take time off to do the things you love or even just to sleep, it rejuvenates you, relaxes you and makes you happy. You know the great thing about it? Happiness is contagious! So taking out time to make yourself happy will also make those around you happy!

Taking time out for yourself is the only way to truly discover yourself


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Taking time off for yourself enhances the quality of your relationship with others

When you take time off to be by yourself, you give yourself time to evaluate all the relationships you have in your life. You then begin to understand which ones are important to you and which ones need to go. You’ll also come to appreciate the relationships you have once you’ve spent time away from them.

Taking time off is better for your overall health and well-being

Getting burnt out, worn out and worked up is no good for anyone and the only way to prevent this is to take time off once in a while. increased stress levels lead to high blood pressure, a break down in your immune system and so on. So before you get yourself bed-ridden in a hospital somewhere, take time off to just be by yourself.



Now I know it’s hard to find time to take time off but trust me it’s worth it. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be a physical absence like travelling to another region. Something as simple as disconnecting from social media, staying indoors a bit more or going out by yourself are all ways you can take time out for yourself. So give yourself the much-needed break you deserve and don’t feel guilty about it!

Love

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