Lifestyle || Here’s why you should enjoy being single while it last!


I hesitated to write this post given that I am in a relationship – a long term relationship at that… but daily I meet and interact with young women who are single and REALLY DISLIKE being single. However, most of them will never actually admit it, but there are some telltale signs, especially in the form of subtle comments, that make it pretty obvious that they’d rather be in a relationship than be single.

Some even feel like without being a in a relationship, life can’t go on as normal and end up hopping from one relationship to another… EARTH TO SINGLETON – You don’t need a partner to continue with your life.

Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, finding someone special to love and be loved by is really amazing; but when the desire to be in a relationship becomes more of an obsession or a defining factor to your life, then you are in serious need of an intervention. So if that’s you, take this as your FREE intervention session by me.


The sad part  to all this though is that society doesn’t make it any easier, especially for women. Women get a lot of pressure to be in a relationship and a lot of backlash for being single. Thinking a little deeper, society is probably the main reason a lot of young women think there’s something wrong with them if they aren’t in a relationship by 25 – hmmm…

Funny Story: A friend of mine turned 24 last year and as expected, she got a lot calls from family members. However, the birthday wishes they gave were not the typical ones you’d expect to hear. The calls were filled with prayers for her to not be single by her next birthday…. Hardly any prayer for her personal heart desires to be granted or for her to get a promotion at work – You know, the typical life achievement kinda stuff. She just got loads and loads of prayers about getting a husband. Well, her next birthday is around the corner and we’re both wondering, what’s so wrong with her being single and 25? Do men also get these sort of calls?

You see, having been on both sides of the door, I can tell you that being in a loving relationship is a beautiful experience – but being single is equally as beautiful. While I do hope for everyone who will like to get married to find their life partner, I also really long for society to also understand that regardless of which side of the door a woman stands, she can live life to the fullest and be happy. I long for a society where being in a relationship or being married isn’t seen as the ‘bestest’ thing that can happen to a woman. A Society where women regardless of their marital status are respected on the same level. Nonetheless, while we wait for society to catch up and get some ‘sense’, to all my singletons out there, here are a few reasons why you should really enjoy love and embrace your singleness for as long as it lasts! (Take it from someone who’s in a relationship #lol)


You’re in full control of YOUR decisions

When you’re single, most of the decisions you make affect you and you alone. So there’s no need to consult with a second party about whether or not you should make decision A or B. You can be as ‘selfish’ as you want and do what you feel is best for yourself.  However, once you’re in a relationship, the dynamics of this changes. Your decisions now become joint decisions, made by you and your significant other – I mean except for life threatening ones of course #haha

You have LOADDSSSSS of free YOU time

Trust me, you’ll miss this when you’re not single. There’s nothing like being able to spend all your free time on you. This isn’t possible in relationships, especially if you have a tedious work or school schedule.  Some, if not all of your free time will be spent trying to solidify your relationship by going on dates, being on phone or video calls or generally just hanging out with your significant other just to get to know each other better. So enjoy your free time while you still can.

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You have more money to spend on YOU

Funny right? But so true! No spending money on gifts for valentine, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas… No going dutch on dates or covering the total bill… Need I say more?

Your happiness isn’t tied to someone else’s

You might wonder how but honestly, if you truly love someone and they aren’t happy, how can you be happy? How can you be alright knowing the person you love isn’t?

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Bottom Line, Ignore the numerous Instagram captions curated to accompany those picture perfect posts of couples. Every relationship has its rocky side but as with EVERYTHING in life, there’s the good side and the bad side to every situation. So Single or not, you should learn to enjoy the good side of your singleness. xoxo



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DIY || Sunburst Wall Decor from Straws!

*This post is sponsored by Jumia

 


I throughly loved creating this project. Not only is also extremely easy to do, but it is such a gorgeous statement piece to add to your home and all you need to create this Sunburst beauty are

  • A pack of straws
  • Some gold spray paint – Available on Jumia
  • A glue gun – Available on Jumia
  • Some glue sticks – Available on Jumia
  • An old carton – I used my Jumia delivery boxes ^_^

Here’s how you make it


Step 1

Cut out a circle from your old carton and then cut a circle out from the circle to form a ring about 1-inch thick

Step 2

Cut your straws into different lengths ensuring you have enough of any single length. You’ll need about 100 straws in total

Step 3

Heat up your glue gun and begin sticking the longest lengths all around your cardboard ring.

Once you’re done sticking on the long lengths, stick on the mid lengths and then the shortest length.

 


Step 4

Once you’re done sticking on the straws, all you have to do now is spray paint the straws on the front and back side to ensure complete coverage. Leave to dry completely (I recommend 24 hours) and once it’s completely dry, it’s ready to grace your wall!

 

What do you think?



MORE INSPO!

You can either use this sunburst decor as is or add a mirror to it’s centre to give it an even more amazing look. You could also add an inspirational quote if you want to or whatever else you’re inspired to add!

Watch the Video Tutorial Here!



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DIY || Geometric Room Art!

*This post is sponsored by Jumia

Imagine having the ability to paint but without actually painting… To create art and not be an artist…

 

 


Well that’s what today’s tutorial’s all about. I’m going to show you how to make your very own wall art that you can scale up or down depending on how big you want your piece of art to be and the best part is, you don’t need to be a genius to make it!

Here’s what you need to make these beauties –

  • A Picture frame – Bought mine from Jumia
  • Some gold Spray paint – Also from Jumia 😀
  • Some Acrylic Paint – I use BHD Acrylic Paint
  • A Paint brush
  • Masking Tape

Now here’s a quick 3 minute video that’ll guide you through the steps! – Enjoy!


Would you try this out?



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DIY || 3 Extremely Easy Home Decor DIYs

*This post is sponsored by Jumia

Home decor is one thing I secretly love A LOT! However, I have quickly come to realise that it can be a bit pricy trying to get your house to look a certain way especially here in Nigeria.

One thing we lack the most is home decor – you know, those cute little bits you can use to quickly spice up the look of your living space; but trust, there’s always a DIY way to go about it.

So in today’s tutorial, I’m going to show you 3 simple ways to add gold accents to your living space using mainly spray paint and a few other bits and bobs you can easily access



#1 – Gold Flower Vase

What you’ll need

  • An empty wine bottle
  • Masking Tape
  • Gold Spray Paint – Available on Jumia
  • Old Newspaper

To achieve this, all you need to do is use your masking tape to cover the areas you don’t want to be painted in gold. Easy variations include straight lines around the bottle like the one I did, or diagonal lines across the bottle.


Once you’ve done that, Spray paint your bottle and leave to dry for 24 hours. Once it’s completely dry, take off your masking tape and your new Flower vase is ready to be used!


Top Tip! – Do not focus on one area as you spray so as to avoid the paint being too thick on a particular spot. Instead, spray paint your branches in layers until you get full coverage. Also, to achieve a clean finish, make sure your bottle is COMPLETELY clean and without an water, oil or glue stain.


#2 – Gold Himmeli Hanging Flower holder

What you’ll need

  • Some thin straws
  • Fish Line Rope
  • Gold spray paint – Available on Jumia
  • Old Newspaper

To start off this ornament, you need 4 long straw cuts and 8 short straw cuts. How to make this is best described through a video to be honest – So just scroll down and see below! ^_^


#3 – Gold Fruit Bowl

What you’ll need

  • A fruit bowl – Bought from Jumia
  • Gold spray paint – Available on Jumia
  • Old Newspaper

Probably the easiest and most straightforward of the bunch. All you have to do it literally just spray paint the entire bowl and viola! Golden fruit bowl

Which of the 3 above is your favourite? 1, 2 or 3?



Watch the Video Tutorial here!



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Quick Thoughts || Why’s it so hard to say NO?

 

 


I envy toddlers… So brave… So fearless… So confident in themselves… Why can’t we be like toddlers?

They know exactly what they want and they go for it. They know exactly what they don’t want and stay away from it. The shout out the word NO when they don’t want something or when a person does something they don’t like…

How innocent they are and if only I could find a way to tell them that a few years down the line, this word which they say with so much emphasis and conviction, will become one of the hardest words to say… and I wonder why?

Many times we know a person isn’t good for us, we know the job isn’t right; We know this collaboration will not be beneficial in anyway, we know one thing or the other has no benefit what so ever to us or towards achieving our life goals and yet, we fail to say the simple word that can save us SOOOOOOOO much stress – We fail to just say, NO.

You know what’s even more amazing? Most times we can actually see the situation going down hill even before it begins; But there’s always this little tiny part of our brains that says to us, maybe… just maybe it won’t be as bad as you think it would be; and while that’s true, sometimes your inner gut is right. That same gut you had as a toddler that made you so brave and decisive in doing what was best for you, we now somehow find a way to suppress it… and you know why? It’s because we’re so bothered about not offending people. We don’t want to offend people or be in conflict with anyone. We don’t want to disappoint anyone and so because of this, we say yes when we know, we should say NO.

 


Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying don’t be considerate about people’s feelings. I’m not saying don’t compromise when possible, but never ever, EVER! do it at the expense of yourself.

Don’t go into a situation that you already know will be bad just because you can’t say NO and you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It is no news that we all want to feel accepted but ask yourself, at what cost? Think about it…

 


All that said, I’m actually a culprit of this same crime… I find it extremely difficult to say the word NO too but you know what? It’s time to think about Demi first… It’s time for you to think about you first!

Sometimes be selfish; Do what’s best for you because you can’t give what you don’t have to the ones you love. So if you’re not happy, you can’t make people happy. Energy begets Energy (The engineer in me talking ^_^).

… and before I go, I leave you with this quote by Tony Blair…

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

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Lifestyle || Has Social Media Made Us Less Social? #DAPICNIC

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A little while back, I hosted the first DA Event #DAPicnic where I got to meet a lot of people I connect with online, offline. I like to think of myself as a somewhat social being but I totally dislike ‘plastic’ relationships – you know, the kind of relationship that has no real value or meaning and just exists for the sake of existing. Yep! Those kind of relationships.

So I set up the picnic to meet up with a few of you and discuss a topic that had been on my mind for a long while…

Has social media made us infact more anti-social?

I did a lot of research online to get various views on the topic from both sides of the spectrum and in all honestly, by the time I was done, I was completely torn… I didn’t know which side I belonged to.


On the YES, it has made us more anti-social side of things, people argue that because of social media, you don’t really need to go out and ‘socialize’ as those before our generation had to when they were our age. We can find out most of the information we need to know about people in our circle from the back of a computer or phone screen – i.e. with little or no human interaction at all. Most people also prefer to stay glued to their phones at social gatherings, such as a family dinner, weddings and so on. They rather ‘socialise’ with other people online when they could otherwise be social with those physically around them … Which is True right?… hmmm

On the NO, it hasn’t made us more anti-social side of things, some people say that it actually helps create talking points, such as new internet crazes #turninoninow, when you meet someone in person for the first time. Hence, it makes your meeting offline more social. You are also able to keep up with a lot more people than you normally would be able to because of how busy we are these days. People also argue that social media helps create a new environment for relationships that otherwise wouldn’t exist to exist and bloom… Which is also true right?

See why I didn’t know which side of the fence to stay on?


It was a long and interesting discussion with everyone giving their point of view on the topic and some even expressed concerns about how the generation after ours will handle social interactions. Others cautioned on us blaming social media for our anti-social nature today and explained how Social media only helps express who you really are inside, a bit better. That all said, there were a few points that really struck me and made it all come together…

Yes social media may be all the things we say but at the end of the day, it is just social media and we have the ability to manage and control how we use it and what it does to us. We can either choose to be on our phones when we go out with friends, or decide to ‘logout’ and login to physical conversations – It is all in our control. We can also decide to use social media to build new relationships by converting those conversations we have online to offline conversations and meet people in person OR we can choose to leave those conversations in the virtual world – It’s all a choice.

Whether or not you become anti-social or more social as a result of social media is up to you and totally dependent on your real personality. Come to think of it, should an app that you can easily delete dictate how your social life turns out to be? Nope! I don’t think so…


Social media is a beautiful thing and if used wisely can help you build some solid and very meaningful relationships… I mean, how else would I have met all 20-something plus guests that made it to the event? How else would you the reader have gotten to know about Demi Akin?

Yes, if used wrongly and ALLOWED to take over our being, it can become detrimental to us as social beings but the bottom line is, it is all a choice.

The power to be more social or become anti-social, as a result of owning an account on twitter, instagram, facebook, snapchat or whatever other social media platform you signed up to is all in your hands!

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DIY || Party DIYs for Birthdays, Bridal showers and More!

I celebrated my birthday a few days back and while planning my little birthday dinner, I knew I wanted a it to look and feel a certain way. I wanted to have a few unique bits and pieces to make my little gathering feel intimate and also create a personal experience for my guests and so I got thinking…

How can I achieve that?

I thought of creating party props, personalised party favours for my friends, name cards and so on; but the cost of achieving all this was not something I was willing to pay.

I’ve been in Nigeria for a little while and if there’s one thing I know for sure, whenever party planner or people in general hear the word ‘party’, the price for everything sky rockets. So of course, I put on my DIY thinking cap and DIY-d little wine bottle for everyone, my very own personalised party props and name place cards.

 

So here’s a tutorial on how I made some of the bits for my birthday party and I threw in an extra DIY at the end which if you’re following me on instagram, you’ve probably already seen! ^_^

Enjoy!


Which DIY’s your fave?


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Lifestyle || The Downside of Being a Blogger – Aspects no one really talks about

Born to Be Real Not perfect Demi Akin-1-2


Oh, so you thought it was all fun and games? You think being a blogger is all glamorous and cheerful all the time? Well, it is sometimes! I mean being a blogger is amazing and if you read my post on How blogging improved my life, you’ll probably agree with me too. HOWEVER, as with everything in life…

There are two sides to every coin!

… I know, cliche but very true!

Many influencers won’t admit it but the next few things I’m going to share with you are FACTS about the other side of blogging that we all have to deal with and now at the risk of sounding like a weakling, here are a few of the downsides to being a blogger.


High Stress Levels

… Especially if you work as well!

It might look all glam and wonderful because every time you see a blogger (most bloggers) they seem to have it all together but have you ever thought of what it’s actually like behind the blog? How many hours are spent into creating content? How some bloggers cope with school/work and blogging? The amount of time spent?

Now don’t get it wrong, It’s always worth it especially because of people like you (My amazing readers! ^_^) but still, High Stress Levels  is one of the realities of being a blogger.


Feelings of Inadequacy

This is one I personally have to deal with on a steady (Don’t ask why, I just do). Let’s face it, as much as every blogger will like to act as if we’re all not struggling for the same endorsements and bloggers jobs, we are! Especially in Nigeria where there are very few ‘jobs’ for bloggers.

Don’t get me wrong, you should always be happy for the next person as we rise by lifting others but that said, it can be a bit disheartening when work is slow and collaborations don’t seem to be coming in as they usually do or when your social influence doesn’t seem to be growing, especially when you are actively putting in work to make things better and doing everything all the other successful bloggers say you should do to ‘grow’. That’s why a lot of people will say,

Start a blog not because of the money or fame but because you have a passion for it!

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Loss of Privacy & the Right to Make Mistakes

Many people think an influencer’s privacy is completely in their hands – WRONG! Haven’t you noticed how when an influencer, especially one who has a large sphere of influence ends up in a scandal or is celebrating something in their life, it automatically becomes a subject of public interest? Other blogs spread the news, individuals talk and discuss it with other people and so on and so forth (I’m guilty of doing this too Covers face I WILL CHANGEEE) …

It almost makes it seem like once you decide to become a blogger or an influencer, you sign off your rights to privacy and being being human. Like, you can’t make a mistake or say what’s exactly on your mind especially if it isn’t the popular opinion. Everyone is always just snooping for the next big scandal and ‘gist’ on your life to make your business even more public.

Like guys… Chill… We’re all humans with the same kind of blood right? Give people some space to just be themselves.


So… what’s the point and why did I write this post. It’s simple and the message is kinda on the inscription on my shirt.

We’re born to be real and not perfect!

and a lot of people forget that when they think of bloggers and influencers. So take this as a gentle reminder from one blogger to the world!

Born to Be Real Not perfect Demi Akin-6-2


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Lifestyle || How to Sustain a long distance relationship – My 5 Top Tips!

I feel as if this is a long overdue post. However, my reluctance to actually sit down and pen down type my thoughts on this subject is probably due to the fact that there are a thousand and one opinions on this topic. Every long distance relationship is unique in it’s own way. That said, I do believe there are a few things that all persons in long distance relationships (or those considering long distance relationships) must do to make things work!

So having dated Chi for 3 years long distance, I think it’s about time to tell you a few things we did to make the relationship work!

#1 – Communicate Constantly

I CANNOT stress this enough. Yes every relationship needs good communication but in a long distance relationship, it is even more important. Why? Well for one, you need a way to stay in touch as you are miles apart from each-other. Two, it makes you involved in the other person’s life as you’ll probably always talk about things you’ve done during the day or are about to do.

Ensure you discuss new decisions you intend on making, seek for your partners opinion and advice on situations. Do not make a life changing decision and inform your partner after it’s done and dusted. Constant communication not only allows you to know the other person is doing okay, but it makes both parties feel involved in the other person’s life.; Greet each-other in the morning and night- it is very very important

 

Chi and I literally were in contact every single day! Although some people think we were a bit excessive, we could tell what the next move of the other person will be which was also great for building trust!

#2 – Keep External Parties External

All outside parties should remain outside. This is not to say that you shouldn’t take advice from people around you but know when to draw the line. Keep the details of your arguments, the good times, special moments to yourselves. Long distance relationships are complex enough for you to include comments and unsolicited opinions from other people into the mix.

Some people wish you well and some don’t. The sad part is you can’t always tell who is who so it’s best to avoid unnecessary chit chat about your relationship.

#3 – Do things together

You’re probably wondering how this is possible but trust me it is! I remember my housemates walking into my room in uni and asking “What are you doing?” and I’d often times reply “Watching a movie with Chi”… We had days when we decided on a movie we both want to watch, we’ll start the movie together over a video or voice call, end the call and make commentaries about it as the movie went along via text – I know, that’s a lot of effort, but it’s the sort of thing that kept our 3 year long distance relationship going.

 


READ – 5 places to Eat and Hangout for 2 under 5k! 

Now I’m not saying you should do the exact same thing but you need to find ways to do things together. Recommend series that both of you can watch separately and talk about later. Recommend music albums to listen to. If you both love to read, recommend books. Take the other person shopping with you via Skype or Whatsapp. Be creative in finding things to do together!

#4 – Remember important dates

… and I’m not talking about Birthdays, Valentine day and so on. Those are given. I’m talking about dates like when exams start (if either party is studying), the date for that job interview, the first day of work, the date for that special program your partner is organising and so on. Not only does it show that you care enough to remember the little things, it also shows that you are interested in every aspect of your partners life.

Wherever possible, celebrate such dates and occasions. Making the little things count will also help build memories.

 


#5 – Be honest

Last but not the least, do not create room for doubt or distrust between you and your partner. It’s the last thing you need in a Long distance relationship and dishonesty will inevitably lead to the death of your relationship.


These tips and a few other things are what kept Chi and I together for 3 years and so from us, we hope they do help another couple out there foster and make their love even more beautiful!

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DIY || Fixing bad Tailoring! – Easy DIY Ankara Shorts

Before we go on… this is a classic case of what I asked for versus what I got…

 

First of all, the cut of the culottes I wanted is much bigger and looser than what I got and before you ask, the tailor was given enough fabric to make this item but still someone managed to mess it up…

Secondly, what’s the deal with the bell ends at the bottom of the pants?

Sigh

Anyways, for all those out there who’ve had to deal with situations like this, you know it’s always disheartening when you can’t think of a way to fix the situation; But don’t worry! I got you!

RELATED : DIY Ankara Accessories

Over the next few months, I’m going to be figuring out ways to fix badly tailored outfits and today we start with fixing culottes/trousers and converting them into stylish shorts!

What you’ll need

A pair of scissors

Heat bond web ( Nigerian street name : Hemming gum)

An Iron

Your trousers


Step 1

Lay your trousers on a flat surface. Fold it into two sideways so both legs perfectly overlap on each-other.

Step 2

Take your scissors and cut your trousers about 2 inches longer than the actual length you want your shorts to be.


 


Step 3

Fold the hem of your shorts outwards twice. Make sure the fold is no longer than 1 inches – 1.5 inches wide.

RELATED : DIY Ankara Off shoulder Top!

Step 4

Place your heat bond web in-between your fold and iron it into place like shown in the picture below.

Do this for both legs and you’ll have yourself some brand new shorts


 


Here’s how I styled my final outcome!

What do you think? Better than before right? lol

I have a badly tailored dress lying somewhere in my closet… I’m still trying to figure out how I’ll remedy the situation (It’s really really bad). Anyways, be sure that once I do, I’ll share it with you my turn final results.

Until next time!

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