Quick Thoughts || What Exactly is Happiness?…

Outfit Details

Top from Virtue Clothiers || Skirt from Virtue Clothiers || Shoes from EGO || Earrings from Unpierced by Orella


*This post is sponsored by Virtue Clothiers

Is being happy important?

You’ll be surprised that some people have rationalised that being Happy isn’t all that… Well I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion but I choose to believe that being happy is essential to a healthy, productive and long life. However, many people may feel like being Happy at all times isn’t possible but I am of the opinion that a person can be Happy at all times. If you don’t agree, then permit me to say you may not have a full understanding of what true happiness means…

Let me explain…



Happiness isn’t just a feeling, it is a state. Happiness isn’t a personality trait, it is a state we find ourselves in when certain factors come together. So, don’t you think it is possible to learn to dwell in a Happy state? No one is born Happy; We learn what Happiness is. We’re taught how to be Happy and so Happiness is a conscious choice.

This therefore means that the ability to maintain a state of happiness is completely up to you. I know you’ve probably heard it a billion times but it actually is completely up to you. We must teach ourselves to appreciate the good times and make the most of them and also cope with those difficult times that will definitely come our way. I think the difficulty comes when we think being Happy means things have to always be good or bad situations will never come our way… But no, that isn’t it.



Being happy doesn’t mean you will always feel good inside. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel let down at times. Being happy means choosing to always look on the bright side of things and stay positive.

So how exactly can you be Happy at all times? How can you remain in a state of total happiness?

Be open to change – It is inevitable so being able to accept change is key…

Do the things you love

Hold on to your values

Stay true to yourself

Listen to your heart

Let go of dead weight – Whatever that is to you…

Appreciate what you have – Learn to be content…

Learn to be grateful

Dwell on what is actually important – and not what you think is important…

Cut your clothes according to your size – Especially money wise…

Spend time with people who make you happy – Friends, Family, Colleagues, you name it…

In a nutshell, understand what makes you happy and do it.


*This Post is sponsored by Virtue Clothier. Virtue Clothier is a made in Nigerian brand that curates stylish and carefully tailored pieces for the modern woman who not only wants to look good, but also save some money while doing so ^_^. My outfit is valued at N7,250 at the time this post was published and can be purchased right here!  – Take a look at their online store and thank me later! xoxo


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Lifestyle || Here’s why you should enjoy being single while it last!


I hesitated to write this post given that I am in a relationship – a long term relationship at that… but daily I meet and interact with young women who are single and REALLY DISLIKE being single. However, most of them will never actually admit it, but there are some telltale signs, especially in the form of subtle comments, that make it pretty obvious that they’d rather be in a relationship than be single.

Some even feel like without being a in a relationship, life can’t go on as normal and end up hopping from one relationship to another… EARTH TO SINGLETON – You don’t need a partner to continue with your life.

Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, finding someone special to love and be loved by is really amazing; but when the desire to be in a relationship becomes more of an obsession or a defining factor to your life, then you are in serious need of an intervention. So if that’s you, take this as your FREE intervention session by me.


The sad part  to all this though is that society doesn’t make it any easier, especially for women. Women get a lot of pressure to be in a relationship and a lot of backlash for being single. Thinking a little deeper, society is probably the main reason a lot of young women think there’s something wrong with them if they aren’t in a relationship by 25 – hmmm…

Funny Story: A friend of mine turned 24 last year and as expected, she got a lot calls from family members. However, the birthday wishes they gave were not the typical ones you’d expect to hear. The calls were filled with prayers for her to not be single by her next birthday…. Hardly any prayer for her personal heart desires to be granted or for her to get a promotion at work – You know, the typical life achievement kinda stuff. She just got loads and loads of prayers about getting a husband. Well, her next birthday is around the corner and we’re both wondering, what’s so wrong with her being single and 25? Do men also get these sort of calls?

You see, having been on both sides of the door, I can tell you that being in a loving relationship is a beautiful experience – but being single is equally as beautiful. While I do hope for everyone who will like to get married to find their life partner, I also really long for society to also understand that regardless of which side of the door a woman stands, she can live life to the fullest and be happy. I long for a society where being in a relationship or being married isn’t seen as the ‘bestest’ thing that can happen to a woman. A Society where women regardless of their marital status are respected on the same level. Nonetheless, while we wait for society to catch up and get some ‘sense’, to all my singletons out there, here are a few reasons why you should really enjoy love and embrace your singleness for as long as it lasts! (Take it from someone who’s in a relationship #lol)


You’re in full control of YOUR decisions

When you’re single, most of the decisions you make affect you and you alone. So there’s no need to consult with a second party about whether or not you should make decision A or B. You can be as ‘selfish’ as you want and do what you feel is best for yourself.  However, once you’re in a relationship, the dynamics of this changes. Your decisions now become joint decisions, made by you and your significant other – I mean except for life threatening ones of course #haha

You have LOADDSSSSS of free YOU time

Trust me, you’ll miss this when you’re not single. There’s nothing like being able to spend all your free time on you. This isn’t possible in relationships, especially if you have a tedious work or school schedule.  Some, if not all of your free time will be spent trying to solidify your relationship by going on dates, being on phone or video calls or generally just hanging out with your significant other just to get to know each other better. So enjoy your free time while you still can.

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You have more money to spend on YOU

Funny right? But so true! No spending money on gifts for valentine, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas… No going dutch on dates or covering the total bill… Need I say more?

Your happiness isn’t tied to someone else’s

You might wonder how but honestly, if you truly love someone and they aren’t happy, how can you be happy? How can you be alright knowing the person you love isn’t?

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Bottom Line, Ignore the numerous Instagram captions curated to accompany those picture perfect posts of couples. Every relationship has its rocky side but as with EVERYTHING in life, there’s the good side and the bad side to every situation. So Single or not, you should learn to enjoy the good side of your singleness. xoxo



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DIY || Sunburst Wall Decor from Straws!

*This post is sponsored by Jumia

 


I throughly loved creating this project. Not only is also extremely easy to do, but it is such a gorgeous statement piece to add to your home and all you need to create this Sunburst beauty are

  • A pack of straws
  • Some gold spray paint – Available on Jumia
  • A glue gun – Available on Jumia
  • Some glue sticks – Available on Jumia
  • An old carton – I used my Jumia delivery boxes ^_^

Here’s how you make it


Step 1

Cut out a circle from your old carton and then cut a circle out from the circle to form a ring about 1-inch thick

Step 2

Cut your straws into different lengths ensuring you have enough of any single length. You’ll need about 100 straws in total

Step 3

Heat up your glue gun and begin sticking the longest lengths all around your cardboard ring.

Once you’re done sticking on the long lengths, stick on the mid lengths and then the shortest length.

 


Step 4

Once you’re done sticking on the straws, all you have to do now is spray paint the straws on the front and back side to ensure complete coverage. Leave to dry completely (I recommend 24 hours) and once it’s completely dry, it’s ready to grace your wall!

 

What do you think?



MORE INSPO!

You can either use this sunburst decor as is or add a mirror to it’s centre to give it an even more amazing look. You could also add an inspirational quote if you want to or whatever else you’re inspired to add!

Watch the Video Tutorial Here!



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DIY || Geometric Room Art!

*This post is sponsored by Jumia

Imagine having the ability to paint but without actually painting… To create art and not be an artist…

 

 


Well that’s what today’s tutorial’s all about. I’m going to show you how to make your very own wall art that you can scale up or down depending on how big you want your piece of art to be and the best part is, you don’t need to be a genius to make it!

Here’s what you need to make these beauties –

  • A Picture frame – Bought mine from Jumia
  • Some gold Spray paint – Also from Jumia 😀
  • Some Acrylic Paint – I use BHD Acrylic Paint
  • A Paint brush
  • Masking Tape

Now here’s a quick 3 minute video that’ll guide you through the steps! – Enjoy!


Would you try this out?



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DIY || 3 Extremely Easy Home Decor DIYs

*This post is sponsored by Jumia

Home decor is one thing I secretly love A LOT! However, I have quickly come to realise that it can be a bit pricy trying to get your house to look a certain way especially here in Nigeria.

One thing we lack the most is home decor – you know, those cute little bits you can use to quickly spice up the look of your living space; but trust, there’s always a DIY way to go about it.

So in today’s tutorial, I’m going to show you 3 simple ways to add gold accents to your living space using mainly spray paint and a few other bits and bobs you can easily access



#1 – Gold Flower Vase

What you’ll need

  • An empty wine bottle
  • Masking Tape
  • Gold Spray Paint – Available on Jumia
  • Old Newspaper

To achieve this, all you need to do is use your masking tape to cover the areas you don’t want to be painted in gold. Easy variations include straight lines around the bottle like the one I did, or diagonal lines across the bottle.


Once you’ve done that, Spray paint your bottle and leave to dry for 24 hours. Once it’s completely dry, take off your masking tape and your new Flower vase is ready to be used!


Top Tip! – Do not focus on one area as you spray so as to avoid the paint being too thick on a particular spot. Instead, spray paint your branches in layers until you get full coverage. Also, to achieve a clean finish, make sure your bottle is COMPLETELY clean and without an water, oil or glue stain.


#2 – Gold Himmeli Hanging Flower holder

What you’ll need

  • Some thin straws
  • Fish Line Rope
  • Gold spray paint – Available on Jumia
  • Old Newspaper

To start off this ornament, you need 4 long straw cuts and 8 short straw cuts. How to make this is best described through a video to be honest – So just scroll down and see below! ^_^


#3 – Gold Fruit Bowl

What you’ll need

  • A fruit bowl – Bought from Jumia
  • Gold spray paint – Available on Jumia
  • Old Newspaper

Probably the easiest and most straightforward of the bunch. All you have to do it literally just spray paint the entire bowl and viola! Golden fruit bowl

Which of the 3 above is your favourite? 1, 2 or 3?



Watch the Video Tutorial here!



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Quick Thoughts || Why’s it so hard to say NO?

 

 


I envy toddlers… So brave… So fearless… So confident in themselves… Why can’t we be like toddlers?

They know exactly what they want and they go for it. They know exactly what they don’t want and stay away from it. The shout out the word NO when they don’t want something or when a person does something they don’t like…

How innocent they are and if only I could find a way to tell them that a few years down the line, this word which they say with so much emphasis and conviction, will become one of the hardest words to say… and I wonder why?

Many times we know a person isn’t good for us, we know the job isn’t right; We know this collaboration will not be beneficial in anyway, we know one thing or the other has no benefit what so ever to us or towards achieving our life goals and yet, we fail to say the simple word that can save us SOOOOOOOO much stress – We fail to just say, NO.

You know what’s even more amazing? Most times we can actually see the situation going down hill even before it begins; But there’s always this little tiny part of our brains that says to us, maybe… just maybe it won’t be as bad as you think it would be; and while that’s true, sometimes your inner gut is right. That same gut you had as a toddler that made you so brave and decisive in doing what was best for you, we now somehow find a way to suppress it… and you know why? It’s because we’re so bothered about not offending people. We don’t want to offend people or be in conflict with anyone. We don’t want to disappoint anyone and so because of this, we say yes when we know, we should say NO.

 


Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying don’t be considerate about people’s feelings. I’m not saying don’t compromise when possible, but never ever, EVER! do it at the expense of yourself.

Don’t go into a situation that you already know will be bad just because you can’t say NO and you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It is no news that we all want to feel accepted but ask yourself, at what cost? Think about it…

 


All that said, I’m actually a culprit of this same crime… I find it extremely difficult to say the word NO too but you know what? It’s time to think about Demi first… It’s time for you to think about you first!

Sometimes be selfish; Do what’s best for you because you can’t give what you don’t have to the ones you love. So if you’re not happy, you can’t make people happy. Energy begets Energy (The engineer in me talking ^_^).

… and before I go, I leave you with this quote by Tony Blair…

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

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Lifestyle || Has Social Media Made Us Less Social? #DAPICNIC

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A little while back, I hosted the first DA Event #DAPicnic where I got to meet a lot of people I connect with online, offline. I like to think of myself as a somewhat social being but I totally dislike ‘plastic’ relationships – you know, the kind of relationship that has no real value or meaning and just exists for the sake of existing. Yep! Those kind of relationships.

So I set up the picnic to meet up with a few of you and discuss a topic that had been on my mind for a long while…

Has social media made us infact more anti-social?

I did a lot of research online to get various views on the topic from both sides of the spectrum and in all honestly, by the time I was done, I was completely torn… I didn’t know which side I belonged to.


On the YES, it has made us more anti-social side of things, people argue that because of social media, you don’t really need to go out and ‘socialize’ as those before our generation had to when they were our age. We can find out most of the information we need to know about people in our circle from the back of a computer or phone screen – i.e. with little or no human interaction at all. Most people also prefer to stay glued to their phones at social gatherings, such as a family dinner, weddings and so on. They rather ‘socialise’ with other people online when they could otherwise be social with those physically around them … Which is True right?… hmmm

On the NO, it hasn’t made us more anti-social side of things, some people say that it actually helps create talking points, such as new internet crazes #turninoninow, when you meet someone in person for the first time. Hence, it makes your meeting offline more social. You are also able to keep up with a lot more people than you normally would be able to because of how busy we are these days. People also argue that social media helps create a new environment for relationships that otherwise wouldn’t exist to exist and bloom… Which is also true right?

See why I didn’t know which side of the fence to stay on?


It was a long and interesting discussion with everyone giving their point of view on the topic and some even expressed concerns about how the generation after ours will handle social interactions. Others cautioned on us blaming social media for our anti-social nature today and explained how Social media only helps express who you really are inside, a bit better. That all said, there were a few points that really struck me and made it all come together…

Yes social media may be all the things we say but at the end of the day, it is just social media and we have the ability to manage and control how we use it and what it does to us. We can either choose to be on our phones when we go out with friends, or decide to ‘logout’ and login to physical conversations – It is all in our control. We can also decide to use social media to build new relationships by converting those conversations we have online to offline conversations and meet people in person OR we can choose to leave those conversations in the virtual world – It’s all a choice.

Whether or not you become anti-social or more social as a result of social media is up to you and totally dependent on your real personality. Come to think of it, should an app that you can easily delete dictate how your social life turns out to be? Nope! I don’t think so…


Social media is a beautiful thing and if used wisely can help you build some solid and very meaningful relationships… I mean, how else would I have met all 20-something plus guests that made it to the event? How else would you the reader have gotten to know about Demi Akin?

Yes, if used wrongly and ALLOWED to take over our being, it can become detrimental to us as social beings but the bottom line is, it is all a choice.

The power to be more social or become anti-social, as a result of owning an account on twitter, instagram, facebook, snapchat or whatever other social media platform you signed up to is all in your hands!

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Brand Highlight|| Wheeniey Ahupa

A little while back (during my blog break), I got a little package delivered to me while at work. Now, I remember that day very clearly because it wasn’t particularly one of my best days… but when I opened the package and saw the cute monochromatic dress tucked within it, I knew my day was going to end well #haha #clothingaddict.


The package came from Wheeniey Ahupa, a made in Nigeria clothing line for the confident, vibrant and purposeful woman. In all honesty, the ‘Ashley’ Dress (the dress I received), is actually one of the prettiest dresses I have ever owned! Not only did it fit like a glove, but it also gives that extra confidence that comes when you know you’re draped in a killer outfit – It’s the definition of an effortlessly chic dress!


So having received this item and owned it for a little while now, you’re probably thinking what do I really think about this dress yes?

Well for one, it’s super cute, very pretty and definitely timeless. It’s the kind of dress that turns heads when you step into a room. The fabric is breathable and the finishing is pretty good. The only thing I’m not particularly a fan of is the price of the dress.

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The dress cost N36,000 and while it is pretty, I’m not sure I’d spend that much on a dress just for the sake of it. Nonetheless, it’s a good purchase when you’re looking for a one of it’s kind statement dress for a special occasion such as graduation, weddings or any other occasion you deem as extra special!


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Quick Thoughts || Why Being Successful Really Takes A Lot of work …


This is going to be very brief and probably not the typical blog post. It probably won’t have a conclusion or any concise point … Take it as me just pouring out various thought I’ve had in mind for a while now but do you know it’s a lot, like A LOT MORE easier to sit back and let things happen than working to make things happen? Why else will the number of people that are successful be much less than the unsuccessful ones? It actually takes a lot of work to go for what you want and make your dreams come true. Be it becoming very successful in your career or running that multi-million business you’ve always ‘dreamed‘ of owning – It all takes hard work.

.. but I’m sure you’ve heard that before and while you may think it only means working hard in terms of putting effort into that particular thing you are chasing, it’s a lot more than that.

Have you ever noticed how some seemingly ‘successful’ people tend to have less friends? Have less real family relationships? How a lot of other stuff that we the ‘commoners’ value a lot, like having time to go to the cinema, having time to just spend time with yourself; They don’t have…


Having somewhat become a little career driven in the past few months, I’ve realised that learning to balance my personal/family life with my work life is the real hard work that I need to put into becoming successful. I’ve realised that being successful is much more than just working hard at that particular thing I want to achieve. Learning to have a good work-life balance is the foundation of becoming successful and trust me, it’s really hard. REALLY REALLY HARD.

I think I’ve had more arguments with my mom in the last 6 months of my life than ever before. I’ve had more arguments with Chi in the last 6 months than ever before. I’ve spent a lot more time by myself either because I was working hard on something for work or I just needed to be by myself to sleep… basically being antisocial. I’ve not had as much time for my little brother as he would like… even though I now have the money and funds to do the things I always promised I would when I started working… It’s just hard and trust me, I’m trying a bit harder each day to find the balance… But the more I try, the more work comes, the more complex my life gets and the more stressed I get… Learning to deal with all of this, keeping sane, keeping my family happy, keeping my boss happy and most importantly, keeping me… Demi happy, is the real hard work that’s involved in becoming successful…

[End Thoughts]


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Lifestyle || What you need to know about becoming an Adult

 


When I was much younger I used to look forward to being an adult. I couldn’t wait till I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, not having anyone boss me around and so on. I mean it’s great not having to rely on someone for every single thing. The independence that comes with being an adult is something I wouldn’t trade and that sense of importance you get when parents consult you on certain family issues; but there are many other things about being an adult that I wish someone would have told me about earlier.

Although I’m still somewhat a young adult myself, I’ve come to quickly realise that being an adult is very stressful. The transition between adolescence and adulthood is even more stressful than actually being an adult. However, everyone goes through it and most people have come out fine. Nonetheless, and like I said earlier, I wish someone would have warned me about what was ahead so I can prepare myself mentally for the stress (Not like I could slow down my ageing process anyways lol).

Anyways, just so those coming after me really do know what the adult years look like (and also for those currently adulting and feeling lost), here are a few things you need to know about being or becoming an adult.


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1. People’s expectations of you multiply

Once you become an adult, it seems like every year of your life is now on an invisible timer set by the society, family and sometimes even yourself. People just expect more and without asking what you want to do with your life, they set certain expectations for you.

People expect you to finish school at a certain time. People expect you to get your masters done within a certain time period. Society expects that you get married at a certain age. Everyone expects that you have a certain kind of job (Think me, Chemical Engineering Graduate now working as a Content Creator #lol – Some people have a fit when they hear what I do for a living).

What the world expects of you just increases so much and that’s not completely bad. What’s bad or stressful about this is that these expectations exist because people compare you to others within the same age group. Sometimes older people set their personal life expectations as goals for you (i.e. what they wished they did differently when growing up) and again, that’s not completely bad but most times it’s unnecessary.


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Yes it’s good to have expectations of a person but more importantly, people need to learn to ask what the blooming adult in question wants for their life first and then build on that.

2. Not every friendship last forever

There comes a point in your life, where you begin to realise that certain people you hold dear to your heart have to be let go. This is often not because they have all of a sudden become bad people but sometimes you find that they are not on the same ‘wave length‘ or life path as yourself. Friends you once did everything with, now seem to be doing the exact opposite to you. Some Friends begin to only exist as leaches, i.e. they always only want something from you and you know the sad part, the letting go process can be very tough and emotionally confusing.


 


If you’re anything like me, you’ll totally hate this part of becoming an adult. It often feels like you’re betraying years of trust by deciding to let X go and it can be very emotionally draining. Sometimes you even have to let go of your “best-friend” or that person that helped you with some really bad situation years ago but I’ve come to realise that it’s part of being an adult and often very necessary for your personal growth.

3. You won’t have everything all figured out

… heck you probably won’t have it all figured out ever; and that’s not completely a bad thing.  It’s always great to have a plan, but as you grow older, you’ll find your plans constantly changing and you might feel like you don’t have things figured out – That’s okay!

It’s actually pretty normal because, things keep changing. What was normal many years ago isn’t today’s normal. How things were done back then, isn’t how things are done now. Everything keeps changing which means most likely won’t be able to have everything figured out, simply because of the constant change in the world.


 


Yes I know some people look like they have everything all sorted but I can bet you that those people are just able to make the most out of the situation they find themselves in. They’ve learnt how to make the most out of opportunities that come their way and that’s what you need to learn to do too. Instead of trying to make sure you have every single detail of your life figured, learn to make the most of each situation you find yourself in. Learn to get the most out of opportunities and eventually you will be just fine!.


 


There are many other things that come with being an adult and can make life hard for young adults but to me, these are the top 3 that I’m certain everyone experiences.

So I hope that when you do find yourself going through any of these, you remind yourself that you are not alone, that the process is normal and that you’ll be fine in no time!



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