I hesitated to write this post given that I am in a relationship – a long term relationship at that… but daily I meet and interact with young women who are single and REALLY DISLIKE being single. However, most of them will never actually admit it, but there are some telltale signs, especially in the form of subtle comments, that make it pretty obvious that they’d rather be in a relationship than be single.
Some even feel like without being a in a relationship, life can’t go on as normal and end up hopping from one relationship to another… EARTH TO SINGLETON – You don’t need a partner to continue with your life.
Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, finding someone special to love and be loved by is really amazing; but when the desire to be in a relationship becomes more of an obsession or a defining factor to your life, then you are in serious need of an intervention. So if that’s you, take this as your FREE intervention session by me.
The sad part to all this though is that society doesn’t make it any easier, especially for women. Women get a lot of pressure to be in a relationship and a lot of backlash for being single. Thinking a little deeper, society is probably the main reason a lot of young women think there’s something wrong with them if they aren’t in a relationship by 25 – hmmm…
Funny Story: A friend of mine turned 24 last year and as expected, she got a lot calls from family members. However, the birthday wishes they gave were not the typical ones you’d expect to hear. The calls were filled with prayers for her to not be single by her next birthday…. Hardly any prayer for her personal heart desires to be granted or for her to get a promotion at work – You know, the typical life achievement kinda stuff. She just got loads and loads of prayers about getting a husband. Well, her next birthday is around the corner and we’re both wondering, what’s so wrong with her being single and 25? Do men also get these sort of calls?
You see, having been on both sides of the door, I can tell you that being in a loving relationship is a beautiful experience – but being single is equally as beautiful. While I do hope for everyone who will like to get married to find their life partner, I also really long for society to also understand that regardless of which side of the door a woman stands, she can live life to the fullest and be happy. I long for a society where being in a relationship or being married isn’t seen as the ‘bestest’ thing that can happen to a woman. A Society where women regardless of their marital status are respected on the same level. Nonetheless, while we wait for society to catch up and get some ‘sense’, to all my singletons out there, here are a few reasons why you should really enjoy love and embrace your singleness for as long as it lasts! (Take it from someone who’s in a relationship #lol)
You’re in full control of YOUR decisions
When you’re single, most of the decisions you make affect you and you alone. So there’s no need to consult with a second party about whether or not you should make decision A or B. You can be as ‘selfish’ as you want and do what you feel is best for yourself. However, once you’re in a relationship, the dynamics of this changes. Your decisions now become joint decisions, made by you and your significant other – I mean except for life threatening ones of course #haha
You have LOADDSSSSS of free YOU time
Trust me, you’ll miss this when you’re not single. There’s nothing like being able to spend all your free time on you. This isn’t possible in relationships, especially if you have a tedious work or school schedule. Some, if not all of your free time will be spent trying to solidify your relationship by going on dates, being on phone or video calls or generally just hanging out with your significant other just to get to know each other better. So enjoy your free time while you still can.
You have more money to spend on YOU
Funny right? But so true! No spending money on gifts for valentine, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas… No going dutch on dates or covering the total bill… Need I say more?
Your happiness isn’t tied to someone else’s
You might wonder how but honestly, if you truly love someone and they aren’t happy, how can you be happy? How can you be alright knowing the person you love isn’t?
Bottom Line, Ignore the numerous Instagram captions curated to accompany those picture perfect posts of couples. Every relationship has its rocky side but as with EVERYTHING in life, there’s the good side and the bad side to every situation. So Single or not, you should learn to enjoy the good side of your singleness. xoxo