When I was much younger I used to look forward to being an adult. I couldn’t wait till I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, not having anyone boss me around and so on. I mean it’s great not having to rely on someone for every single thing. The independence that comes with being an adult is something I wouldn’t trade and that sense of importance you get when parents consult you on certain family issues; but there are many other things about being an adult that I wish someone would have told me about earlier.
Although I’m still somewhat a young adult myself, I’ve come to quickly realise that being an adult is very stressful. The transition between adolescence and adulthood is even more stressful than actually being an adult. However, everyone goes through it and most people have come out fine. Nonetheless, and like I said earlier, I wish someone would have warned me about what was ahead so I can prepare myself mentally for the stress (Not like I could slow down my ageing process anyways lol).
Anyways, just so those coming after me really do know what the adult years look like (and also for those currently adulting and feeling lost), here are a few things you need to know about being or becoming an adult.
1. People’s expectations of you multiply
Once you become an adult, it seems like every year of your life is now on an invisible timer set by the society, family and sometimes even yourself. People just expect more and without asking what you want to do with your life, they set certain expectations for you.
People expect you to finish school at a certain time. People expect you to get your masters done within a certain time period. Society expects that you get married at a certain age. Everyone expects that you have a certain kind of job (Think me, Chemical Engineering Graduate now working as a Content Creator #lol – Some people have a fit when they hear what I do for a living).
What the world expects of you just increases so much and that’s not completely bad. What’s bad or stressful about this is that these expectations exist because people compare you to others within the same age group. Sometimes older people set their personal life expectations as goals for you (i.e. what they wished they did differently when growing up) and again, that’s not completely bad but most times it’s unnecessary.
Yes it’s good to have expectations of a person but more importantly, people need to learn to ask what the blooming adult in question wants for their life first and then build on that.
2. Not every friendship last forever
There comes a point in your life, where you begin to realise that certain people you hold dear to your heart have to be let go. This is often not because they have all of a sudden become bad people but sometimes you find that they are not on the same ‘wave length‘ or life path as yourself. Friends you once did everything with, now seem to be doing the exact opposite to you. Some Friends begin to only exist as leaches, i.e. they always only want something from you and you know the sad part, the letting go process can be very tough and emotionally confusing.
If you’re anything like me, you’ll totally hate this part of becoming an adult. It often feels like you’re betraying years of trust by deciding to let X go and it can be very emotionally draining. Sometimes you even have to let go of your “best-friend” or that person that helped you with some really bad situation years ago but I’ve come to realise that it’s part of being an adult and often very necessary for your personal growth.
3. You won’t have everything all figured out
… heck you probably won’t have it all figured out ever; and that’s not completely a bad thing. It’s always great to have a plan, but as you grow older, you’ll find your plans constantly changing and you might feel like you don’t have things figured out – That’s okay!
It’s actually pretty normal because, things keep changing. What was normal many years ago isn’t today’s normal. How things were done back then, isn’t how things are done now. Everything keeps changing which means most likely won’t be able to have everything figured out, simply because of the constant change in the world.
Yes I know some people look like they have everything all sorted but I can bet you that those people are just able to make the most out of the situation they find themselves in. They’ve learnt how to make the most out of opportunities that come their way and that’s what you need to learn to do too. Instead of trying to make sure you have every single detail of your life figured, learn to make the most of each situation you find yourself in. Learn to get the most out of opportunities and eventually you will be just fine!.
There are many other things that come with being an adult and can make life hard for young adults but to me, these are the top 3 that I’m certain everyone experiences.
So I hope that when you do find yourself going through any of these, you remind yourself that you are not alone, that the process is normal and that you’ll be fine in no time!