A lot of people have asked me on several occasions,
“How do you manage your relationship being so public?”
“How do you manage your relationship being on social media?”
The honest truth? I’m not entirely sure, but I did give it a little thought and what I do know is that there are a few conscious steps I take in order to ensure that my relationship with Chi is as private as it can be.
I actually never imagined my relationship will be one of public interest; but given the circumstances around which the relationship started , Chi and I felt it might be nice to show people that relationships like ours can work. So after much deliberation, loads of conversations and decisions on what and how to go about it, we made our relationship pretty public earlier this year on my blog and it’s associated social media platforms.
We went against all the various advice people give about social media and relationships; but with the number of messages we get and testimonies from other couples, we both agree it was a good move and don’t regret it at all.
That said, there are some limits, controls and checks that we have put in place to ensure that its privacy is still preserved to some extent and that’s what I’m going to share with you real quick!
Here are a few things you can do in order to manage your relationship being on social media.
Separate your moments
I cannot over emphasise this enough. Not everything that goes on in your relationship needs to be put online, even if it’s a happy moment. You don’t need to share the fact that your significant other just got you an amazing gift with the whole world at every single point in time. You don’t need to share the details of every date night you go on. You need to learn to keep somethings to yourself no matter how fantastic or annoying they are – Especially if you’re someone in the public eye like myself.
The best way to go about this is to stick to popular dates when “love is in the air”. Think Christmas time, New year’s eve, Valentines day, Thanks giving and so on – those are all seasons when almost everyone is talking about their family and the love of their life. So you sharing yours during such a time won’t stand out as showing off.
If you blog or vlog like myself, you could also share snippets of special personal days like birthdays and anniversaries, but even these personal days should have their details kept as private as possible so they still remain special to you.
Know what is acceptable to share
It’s important to know what your partner is okay or not okay with you sharing online. Does your partner want the details of your holiday together shared in a vlog? Do they want people to know about the new car you got? Are they okay with you talking about the fact that things aren’t always perfect?
Believe it or not, every single post that goes out on my instagram, facebook or my blog and has to do with my relationship goes through Chi first; and vice versa. This isn’t always done so the other party can criticise the content that’s about to be put out but it’s always nice to inform your partner about the post or video that’s about to go out. Why? Well, it’s mainly to ensure they aren’t taken unawares, especially if people are likely to make all sorts of comments about the content in question (unless of course it’s a birthday shout out #lol) – It’s just simple courtesy.
Take Everything with a pinch of Salt
Believe it or not, there are many people just waiting around to see if something will go wrong in your relationship or for an opportunity to make a spiteful comment, be a judge, say I told you so or what not; and most times, these people are just sadist.
They do not wish you well in any way, shape or form. So when you see ‘odd’ comments about your relationship on a photo, video or even via instastories, simply delete and move on – Take it with a pinch of salt.
On the other hand, there are some people that do wish you well but sometimes give advice or make comments that do not sit too well with you. Again, take it with a pinch of salt. Even the ‘good comments‘ and the ‘nice ones’ – take them all with a pinch of salt. Never let someone behind a gadget dictate the mood or ‘vibe’ of your relationship by a simple comment.
At the end of the day, most of the people showing love or hate on your social media platforms will only remain social media buddies.
So from Chi and I to you, we hope you do find these tips useful and continue to grow in love with you other whole!