I feel as if this is a long overdue post. However, my reluctance to actually sit down and
pen down type my thoughts on this subject is probably due to the fact that there are a thousand and one opinions on this topic. Every long distance relationship is unique in it’s own way. That said, I do believe there are a few things that all persons in long distance relationships (or those considering long distance relationships) must do to make things work!
So having dated Chi for 3 years long distance, I think it’s about time to tell you a few things we did to make the relationship work!
#1 – Communicate Constantly
I CANNOT stress this enough. Yes every relationship needs good communication but in a long distance relationship, it is even more important. Why? Well for one, you need a way to stay in touch as you are miles apart from each-other. Two, it makes you involved in the other person’s life as you’ll probably always talk about things you’ve done during the day or are about to do.
Ensure you discuss new decisions you intend on making, seek for your partners opinion and advice on situations. Do not make a life changing decision and inform your partner after it’s done and dusted. Constant communication not only allows you to know the other person is doing okay, but it makes both parties feel involved in the other person’s life.; Greet each-other in the morning and night- it is very very important
Chi and I literally were in contact every single day! Although some people think we were a bit excessive, we could tell what the next move of the other person will be which was also great for building trust!
#2 – Keep External Parties External
All outside parties should remain outside. This is not to say that you shouldn’t take advice from people around you but know when to draw the line. Keep the details of your arguments, the good times, special moments to yourselves. Long distance relationships are complex enough for you to include comments and unsolicited opinions from other people into the mix.
Some people wish you well and some don’t. The sad part is you can’t always tell who is who so it’s best to avoid unnecessary chit chat about your relationship.
#3 – Do things together
You’re probably wondering how this is possible but trust me it is! I remember my housemates walking into my room in uni and asking “What are you doing?” and I’d often times reply “Watching a movie with Chi”… We had days when we decided on a movie we both want to watch, we’ll start the movie together over a video or voice call, end the call and make commentaries about it as the movie went along via text – I know, that’s a lot of effort, but it’s the sort of thing that kept our 3 year long distance relationship going.
Now I’m not saying you should do the exact same thing but you need to find ways to do things together. Recommend series that both of you can watch separately and talk about later. Recommend music albums to listen to. If you both love to read, recommend books. Take the other person shopping with you via Skype or Whatsapp. Be creative in finding things to do together!
#4 – Remember important dates
… and I’m not talking about Birthdays, Valentine day and so on. Those are given. I’m talking about dates like when exams start (if either party is studying), the date for that job interview, the first day of work, the date for that special program your partner is organising and so on. Not only does it show that you care enough to remember the little things, it also shows that you are interested in every aspect of your partners life.
Wherever possible, celebrate such dates and occasions. Making the little things count will also help build memories.
#5 – Be honest
Last but not the least, do not create room for doubt or distrust between you and your partner. It’s the last thing you need in a Long distance relationship and dishonesty will inevitably lead to the death of your relationship.
and a few other things are what kept Chi and I together for 3 years and so from us, we hope they do help another couple out there foster and make their love even more beautiful!