Lifestyle || How to Sustain a long distance relationship – My 5 Top Tips!

I feel as if this is a long overdue post. However, my reluctance to actually sit down and pen down type my thoughts on this subject is probably due to the fact that there are a thousand and one opinions on this topic. Every long distance relationship is unique in it’s own way. That said, I do believe there are a few things that all persons in long distance relationships (or those considering long distance relationships) must do to make things work!

So having dated Chi for 3 years long distance, I think it’s about time to tell you a few things we did to make the relationship work!

#1 – Communicate Constantly

I CANNOT stress this enough. Yes every relationship needs good communication but in a long distance relationship, it is even more important. Why? Well for one, you need a way to stay in touch as you are miles apart from each-other. Two, it makes you involved in the other person’s life as you’ll probably always talk about things you’ve done during the day or are about to do.

Ensure you discuss new decisions you intend on making, seek for your partners opinion and advice on situations. Do not make a life changing decision and inform your partner after it’s done and dusted. Constant communication not only allows you to know the other person is doing okay, but it makes both parties feel involved in the other person’s life.; Greet each-other in the morning and night- it is very very important

 

Chi and I literally were in contact every single day! Although some people think we were a bit excessive, we could tell what the next move of the other person will be which was also great for building trust!

#2 – Keep External Parties External

All outside parties should remain outside. This is not to say that you shouldn’t take advice from people around you but know when to draw the line. Keep the details of your arguments, the good times, special moments to yourselves. Long distance relationships are complex enough for you to include comments and unsolicited opinions from other people into the mix.

Some people wish you well and some don’t. The sad part is you can’t always tell who is who so it’s best to avoid unnecessary chit chat about your relationship.

#3 – Do things together

You’re probably wondering how this is possible but trust me it is! I remember my housemates walking into my room in uni and asking “What are you doing?” and I’d often times reply “Watching a movie with Chi”… We had days when we decided on a movie we both want to watch, we’ll start the movie together over a video or voice call, end the call and make commentaries about it as the movie went along via text – I know, that’s a lot of effort, but it’s the sort of thing that kept our 3 year long distance relationship going.

 


READ – 5 places to Eat and Hangout for 2 under 5k! 

Now I’m not saying you should do the exact same thing but you need to find ways to do things together. Recommend series that both of you can watch separately and talk about later. Recommend music albums to listen to. If you both love to read, recommend books. Take the other person shopping with you via Skype or Whatsapp. Be creative in finding things to do together!

#4 – Remember important dates

… and I’m not talking about Birthdays, Valentine day and so on. Those are given. I’m talking about dates like when exams start (if either party is studying), the date for that job interview, the first day of work, the date for that special program your partner is organising and so on. Not only does it show that you care enough to remember the little things, it also shows that you are interested in every aspect of your partners life.

Wherever possible, celebrate such dates and occasions. Making the little things count will also help build memories.

 


#5 – Be honest

Last but not the least, do not create room for doubt or distrust between you and your partner. It’s the last thing you need in a Long distance relationship and dishonesty will inevitably lead to the death of your relationship.


These tips and a few other things are what kept Chi and I together for 3 years and so from us, we hope they do help another couple out there foster and make their love even more beautiful!

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22 thoughts

  1. Absolutely love tip #2. I find when any problem arrives and you ask for advice, many friends and family members will jump to the “leave them” option instead of working on it because it is a long distance relationship. They don’t believe it’s worth the effort. So the advice isn’t always worth getting unless you know the person has good intentions.

  2. Being in a relationship isnt easy at all. I love these tips youve posted here, ave actually tried some but most guyz think its boring, well maybe i havent been lucky with the men, but these sure are great tips. Thanks much for sharing all these. Bless you Ayo.

    1. Thanks Suzan! Some guys are just weird to be honest and let their Ego get in the way of their reasoning as to what’s best for the relationship #sigh… It is well sha

  3. Thank you hun for this post, most people on Instagram don’t know but I’m currently in a long distance relationship, I mean it dint start off as that but it’s been A year and a few months now. Despite unpopular believe it’s still going strong. It’s good to see a few stories like yours it helps keep the dream alive. ❤️

    1. Awww! So happy to hear that you guys are still going strong ❤️… Trust me, people will say all sorts and it will seem almost insane and impossible for you to date for a long time long distance, but it can definitely work!

      Wish you all the best hun! :*

  4. First I am a big fan of relationship posts. I feel like there is always something to learn.
    I am really amazed about the efforts on watching movies. This has enlightened me. I actually do have movie dates with my boyfriend once a week, it is not necessarily at a cinema. We could just pick a movie, and watch it at home together. This really helps us relax together. But you and Chi deserve some accolades for taking this to another level.😱😱👏👏👏👏👏

  5. I like how this post started with “Communication”, it’s really important in every relationship whether distant or close. I’m glad you both kept the fire burning, it’s really not easy most times especially when you want to see the person physically and talk. Thumbs up to you and Chi and i wish you all the best.
    P.S: After Ronke, you both are my current favs.

  6. Communication is so key for any relationship to thrive. And I love how you both watch movies together, sound so cute. Another similar thing I’ve done was to listen to music together until one of us falls asleep and the other person will end the call.

    Overall, long distance relationships takes two willing and committed people to make it work.

    Insightful post.

  7. Very helpful tips you’ve given here – the major thing at the end of the day all boils down to communication! I find it so cute you watched a movie together haha, that’s some dedication right there! This post has definitely been insightful, and I wish you guys the absolute best!

  8. I like the fact that you people are from different backgrounds and still keep things fresh even far apart. I can’t over emphasize the number one tip which is communication. My husband hasn’t been around for a while now and we are just newly weds. It’s pretty difficult you know but then we communicate every single minute. Timing is also very difficult because he’s in another country but then he makes time for us i on my own part isn’t doing so much I don’t like calling but with him Iv learnt so much that communication is key http://www.adagirl.com.ng

    1. Thanks hun! You should definitely reciprocate the calls as much as possible though. It’s very important that it’s not one sided. I hope the long distance ends soon though. It can be very hard 🙈

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